


deeper than oceans, as sweet as devotion

by melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut, Tumblr Prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2019-11-01 07:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 27,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17862698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme/pseuds/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme
Summary: A collection of all my Mattex tumblr prompts!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story title from ‘Your Love’ by Little Mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “You wanted me to walk in on you.”

“You wanted me to walk in on you.”

Alex looks up from her purse, her keys dangling from the tips of her fingers. She sees Matt, leaning up against the door to her flat, looking at her with such a cold, dark intensity that she hasn’t ever seen directed at her.

“Excuse me?” She asks, leaning her weight on one foot as she raises an eyebrow up at him.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Alex. You _wanted_ me to see you. With that - that guy.”

Alex purses her lips and tilts her head up at him. The only reason why she’d invited Denny along was because she’d been certain that Matt would turn up with someone else on his arm, too. Regardless of whether it’s only been a week since they - since _he_ \- called it quits, she didn’t want to be alone while he was with some other leggy, young thing.

When she saw that he’d come alone, that... changed things. He’d made it clear that night, the night he ended things, that he thought they just weren’t working anymore. She hadn’t exactly put up a fight, because she thought that it was what he’d wanted.

But it had been clear, from the moment Matt laid his eyes on Denny, that he wished the other guy would just fall into the fireplace and burn to death. It probably didn’t help that Denny kept _touching_ her, fingers brushing across her cheek and her shoulders, tucking her hair behind her ear and hands splaying across her waist possessively.

And when Matt had walked in on them in one of the bathrooms - when Denny had Alex pressed against the sink, his hand dangerously high on her thigh under her skirt, kissing her hungrily - the expression on his face was thunderous. Matt had taken one look at their position and slammed the door behind him. She’d known in an instant that whatever it was between them, it wasn’t over.

“Why are you here, Matt?” She asks instead.

Matt shakes his head. “I knew you could never be serious about me. A week? Seriously, Alex?”

“Ex _cuse_ me?” Alex asks loudly, folding her arms as her tired eyes turn wide. “Matt, _you_ left me. Not the other way around.”

“I told you I loved you. And you laughed.” He says, licking his dry lips as he recalls the moment - how embarrassed he was when he confessed how he felt, and all he got in return was _laughter_. Alex flinches a little and it makes him angrier, that she should feel uncomfortable when he was the one who got his heart broken. “You laughed in my face, Alex, what was I supposed to think?”

“I thought you were - ” and he’s never heard Alex sound so small, or so vulnerable, not until now. Four months in their relationship and they’ve never had a vulnerable moment with each other. It’s no wonder why everything went downhill so quickly. “I thought you were joking, Matt, you can’t possibly feel that way about - about _me_.”

“So my feelings were just a joke to you?” He says in disbelief. He’d thought nothing could hurt more than leaving. He was wrong.

“No!” Alex says desperately, dropping her defensive stance and swallowing roughly. “Of course not, Matt. You - you told me you loved me and then suddenly fifteen minutes later you said you wanted to end things. What was _I_ supposed to think?”

“And today?” He asks. “Denny?”

“Why do you want to know?” She arcs an eyebrow at him as she repeats, “You left. Not the other way around.”

“I didn’t want to leave!” He almost shouts, coursing his hand through his thick hair.

“Then why did you?” She shouts back. “You wouldn’t even let me explain why I reacted that way - you were so caught up in yourself, in your goddamn _pride_ that you wouldn’t even listen!”

“So tell me then! Tell me right now, Alex, what was so surprising about me telling me that I love you.” He demands.

“I _told_ you - I thought you were joking! It’s only been four months, Matt, you can’t possibly - not for me - no.” She shakes her head at him, swallowing roughly. “I know that we felt _something_ when we filmed that wedding episode but - let’s face it, Matt, nothing between us could ever work out.”

“Why not?” He asks hoarsely.

“You’re - you’re _young_.” Already Matt is shaking his head in disagreement, but Alex keeps talking anyway. “You don’t want to be tied down, Matt, and you can’t - you can’t possibly want to spend the rest of your life tied to _me_.”

“No.” Matt says, still shaking his head. He takes a step toward her, looks down and straight into her eyes as he says, “No - since the start you’ve had your doubts. And I can understand that, but I’ve tried so _hard_ to get you to take a chance on me and you - you _always_ come up some sort of excuse never to be vulnerable with me. The reason why anything between us could never work out has nothing to do with our ages - it’s because _you_ came in, but you stayed with one foot out the door. _That’s_ why we never worked.”

Alex stares up at him, refusing to break eye contact even though the intensity with which he’s staring at her is making her a little uncomfortable. She refuses to admit that he’s right, that she’s been expecting them to fail since their first date, and that’s why she never really fought for him when he left. Because she thought that no matter what, he’ll always leave. And it’s better that he leave now, then when she developed stronger feelings for him.

“Please leave, Matthew.” She says calmly, even though she’s shaking. “Now.”

He withdraws from her, his face crestfallen as he looks at her with so much regret in his eyes. “Why couldn’t you just give me a proper chance, Kingston?”

“You don’t understand, Matt,” she says, and for the first time all night, he hears tears in her voice.

“Tell me anyway,” Matt insists quietly.

“If I give you a proper chance, I  _will_   fall.” She says softly, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes, “Because even with those four months - I could feel myself falling. And I can’t allow it. I can’t risk it again, Matt, I’m sorry, but I can’t fall for you only to have you - ”

“For me to what? Leave? I told you, Alex, I love you.” He says hoarsely. “Do you want me to say it a thousand times? Write love letters? Love songs?”

“Don’t.” She says quietly, wiping away a stray tear. She wraps her arms around herself, giving herself some comfort.

“I love you, Alex.” He says quietly. “And I went to that party tonight because I thought we could try again - but I saw you with Denny and - are you seeing him now? Is that it?”

“He’s just someone I met at a bar a few days ago - I wasn’t even planning to call him until I heard you’d be at the party, too.” She admits, looking down.

“This is ridiculous.” Matt scoffs. “I’m too hung up on you and you’re too scared to take a chance on me.” He shakes his head. “What do I have to do, Alex? Tell me.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugs lightly, sniffing quietly,

“How about starting slow?” Matt asks, reaching for her hand. He interlaces their fingers together, pressing a small kiss on the back of her palm. “As slow as you want. We can take our time now.”

Alex looks at Matt, at the tender way he caresses her skin and the hopeful look in his eyes.

“I’d like that.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I stay awake constantly. I’m always awake. Always. I’m scared that if I fall asleep, I’ll see your face. And I can’t do it. I just can’t.”

Shooting the Series 7 finale has been physically and emotionally exhausting in equal measure for Matt Smith. On top of having to deal with deciding on whether to leave or stay in the first real acting role he’s had since he joined the profession and the usual stresses that come with playing the main role in the most beloved television show in the country, he’s also had to deal with seeing one Alex Kingston again, after months of no contact.

He supposes that’s what happens when a relationship ends.

He’s not even sure if that word -  _ relationship _ \- would be the right word for the bond they shared. They’d agreed, straight away in their little sessions that it would be foolish to place any kind of label on what they were doing with each other. Which was having amazing, mind-blowing sex in the privacy of either one of their flats while she was in town. 

Their little arrangement had ended quite abruptly, without any warning on his side. They were in New York, filming The Angels Take Manhattan with Kazza and Arthur when she told him, in no uncertain terms, that this would be the last time they would ever share a bed together. 

What she didn’t know was that he’d just been preparing to ask her a question - a serious question. He’d been planning to ask if she was willing to consider him as more than someone to have sex with once in a while - if she’d be willing to, perhaps, go on a date with him. 

He’d been a little heartbroken when she suggested it - and afterwards, there was nothing. No phone calls, no texts, no voicemails. Just - nothing. His heartbreak steadily increased after that.

When it was announced that she would be returning for the finale, the first thing he felt was excitement, then dread. How would he be able to speak to her again, knowing that he felt the way he did? Knowing that  _ she  _ didn’t feel the same? 

He needn’t have worried, however. Ever since filming started a few weeks ago Alex has been avoiding him. Oh sure, she’s perfectly friendly when there are other people around, pleasant and fun to hang out with when they’re with Jenna, but the moment he’s left alone with her she manages to find some mundane excuse to avoid talking to him. 

It wouldn’t have hurt so much if he didn’t feel the way he did.

Luckily, he didn’t have to spend much time with her overall. He doesn’t have much scenes with her in this episode but the one scene they do have together - oh, it’s heartbreaking. She looks at him with such sadness, regret and  _ love _ , and he hates that she’s such a bloody good actress because he can’t for the life of him tell how much of that was acting. That kiss. 

He’s still touching his lips when they wrap for the day. He heads back to his trailer - he’s been sleeping there since his call times are so early and he ends so late - and all he thinks about is Alex’s lips on his, her tongue in his mouth, kissing her gently, lovingly, the way he wanted to since, he suspects, the very first time he kissed her. 

He lays down on his couch after changing out of his costume, his hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. Day after day, after work, he goes to his trailer and stares at the ceiling until it’s time for him to report for work. He doesn’t sleep, he can’t - not since New York. He works himself ragged on weekdays and goes back to his flat and sleeps in his comfy bed on the weekends, when he’s so exhausted he can’t remember his dreams. 

A knock startles him out of his thoughts. 

“Door’s open. Come in.”

“Hi,” Alex says, closing the door behind her. He sits up when he sees her, eyes wide. He hadn’t been expecting her at all. She looks shy, reserved, so unlike the Alex he knows that he feels awkward, too. 

She’s out of her costume, which he’s grateful for. River has always had the best wardrobe but the outfit she had on for this episode - well, it wasn’t his favourite, suffice it to say. She’s wearing one of her long, flowy, floral skirts with a tank top and a jacket wrapped tightly around her, and he finds that he misses how natural she looks when she’s out of costume. 

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk these past few weeks,” she says softly, sitting down on the sofa next to him. She looks like she’s choosing her words carefully, like she’s afraid of stepping on his toes. That’s something else that he misses - the carefree, fun way that they flirt with each other. He hates this, hates treading lightly and tiptoeing around each other. 

Unable to help himself, Matt scoffs, “Why are you here, Alex?”

He regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth. He watches her face fall in disappointment, watches as she bows her head to stare at her feet and knows that she doesn’t deserve such a cold answer. He can’t help it sometimes, he’s hurt, and he lashes out. 

“I know it’s not my place to ask, but - ” Alex pauses, looking up at him. She takes a seat beside him on the couch, and he watches warily - it’s the closest in proximity since they last saw each other in New York. She swallows roughly, and he can tell that she’s nearing tears by the way her arms are shaking as they hold onto her knees tightly. “I just want to know if you’re okay. You look tired, Matt. Are you overworked? Have you been eating right? Taking care of yourself? Getting enough sleep?”

Matt scoffs louder, and this time, he means it. She’s spent the past few weeks avoiding him and now suddenly she gets all concerned. She’s the most confusing woman he’s ever met, and he’s tired of it all. 

“Why do you care?”

For a moment, she looks like she’s been slapped. She looks at him with tear stained eyes. Her voice is quiet, so quiet he strains to hear it, “I care about you, Matt.”

“You do? Is that why you haven’t called, or texted, or left a bloody voicemail since New York?” He asks sarcastically. Alex flinches hard, looking down at her knees again but he doesn’t care. “I thought once you ended it we could at least still be friends.”

“Of course we are, Matt - ” she says weakly, looking up at him with tears in her eyes, but he cuts her off. 

“I’m not overworked - well, not more than I’m used to, anyway. I’m eating right.” He says, running his hand through his hair in frustration. He shakes his head, swallowing roughly, his voice hoarse as he continues, “But  _ sleep _ ? How can I sleep when all I do is dream about  _ you _ ?” 

Alex gasps quietly, tears finally escaping her eyes as she looks up at him. He doesn’t notice.

“I stay awake constantly. I’m always awake. Always. I’m scared that if I fall asleep, I’ll see your face. And I can’t do it. I just can’t.” He says tiredly. His mind and his heart are both weary, weary from thinking about Alex, from feeling this way about Alex. “Stop sending me mixed signals, Alex. Don’t - don’t ignore me the entire time we’ve been on set then show concern once we’re alone. I’m tired of it. I can’t do it anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, wiping away tears with the back of her hand. “I’ve been - I’ve been so confused ever since New York,” she confesses, ducking her head and staring at her knees. “I’ve been trying to figure out why everything hurt so bad and - and now I just feel so stupid.” She shuts her eyes and shakes her head. “Because I’m the one who left but I’m pining like an idiot and - and you might think you feel the same way, but Matt,” she sighs. “What could I possibly offer you? What do I have that you’d want?”

“You,” he says quietly. She looks up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. He shrugs half-heartedly, knowing full well what he’s putting on the line when he continues, “Just you, Kingston. All of you.”

“Matt, you - you can’t possibly know what that means-”

“I want all of you, Alex,” he says, his voice much more confident now. He doesn’t want to hear anymore excuses from her. He just wants an answer. “If you’ll just - just let me have a chance.” He musters up his courage and takes both her hands, squeezing lightly. “It’ll be different this time. We’ll do it properly this time, if you let me.”

She stares at their clasped hands, at his strong grip, holding her tightly. She looks up at his face, at how his eyes pierce through hers with the force of his sincerity. She swallows tightly, hesitating.

“Alright,” she says softly. “We’ll - we’ll take it slowly, okay?”

A small smile appears on his face, the first time she’s seen it since she arrived here. “One day at a time.”

He leans forward, closing the distance between them. He lets his lips brush over hers gently, never pushing for more, and she kisses back gratefully. The smile on his face widens as he pulls back, and she lets a shy smile steal over hers as she stares back at him.

He leans in again, and she thinks he’s going in for another kiss before he places his lips right at her ear. “Just so you know, Kingston, you already have all of me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Don’t do this here.”

Matt tries his hardest to ignore her. To ignore the stabbing pain in his chest whenever he sees her, sipping some fruity drink in the corner and chatting merrily with some bloke. To ignore the way his heart skips when she laughs and the way he hopes that maybe she's spending the night watching him, too. 

But she isn't. She's made that clear.

He never should've told her how he felt. He never should've taken that risk. Not only has he lost Alex as a partner, but he's lost a friend. A mentor. A confidante. 

He was foolish to think that she could ever feel the same way for him.

It hurts to think about her. It hurts to know she isn't thinking about him. She doesn't feel that way.  _ She doesn't feel that way. _

Why is it so hard to accept that?

"Alex, it's good to see you here." He's an idiot. He's never been able to stay away from her for long, even when he was pining after her like a schoolboy.

"Hello, Matt." she greets politely, her smile somehow guarded. He doesn't like that - they used to be able to share everything with each other and now it feels like they never had any sort of friendship at all. "It's good to see you, too."

He can't tell if she's lying or not. Clearing his throat, he takes a seat on the stool next to her and looks out at the dancefloor, where the party is taking place. "I didn't expect you to be here today."

She shrugs a little. "I needed a change of scenery."

He nods, casting a small glance to her. Golden curls cascading down her shoulders, a flowy dress with a deep neckline - classic Alex. She notices him watching her and smiles a little, her blue-green eyes holding just a hint of amusement. 

"What do you want, Matt?" she asks finally, setting her glass down on the bar and turning towards him fully.

"You." he says honestly, surprising even himself. "Just you, Alex."

She shakes her head, curls flying around. "Don't do this here, Matt. Not with all these people around."

"Let's take a walk then." He stands, offering her his hand to help her up. "I promise we'll come back."

She takes a long moment to decide, looking at the hand he's holding out to her. She purses her lips quietly and looks around hesitantly before reaching out and getting up. 

"Just a short walk." she says firmly, raising her eyebrows to let him know she's being serious. "That's all I'm agreeing to."

He nods, understanding. He places his hand at the small of her back, leading out of the bar where the party is taking place. It's past midnight but the streets of London are still roaring with life, the road still full of cars speeding past. They walk down the row of famous nightclubs and pubs, keeping their head down just in case some of the drunkards recognize them. 

Once they get to the end of the street, as they wait for the light to turn green, Alex sighs.

"Why am I doing this?" she asks herself, looking frustrated and angry. "Why do I always do this to myself?"

"What are you talking about?" he asks, slightly bewildered at the expression on her face. 

"I'm talking about  _ me _ , Matt. I'm talking about the fact that I'm  _ bad _ for you, and I know this. I  _ know _ this, but I can't help- " she groans in frustration just as the light turns green and she takes off, walking faster than he's ever seen her. 

"Alex, wait!" he shouts after her, keeping up with her pace. They enter a park and she finally slows her pace, and she looks confused and angry and  _ sad _ , and he doesn't understand why because he hasn't said a word yet.

"What's wrong?" he asks, and she bows her head but he sees it - teary eyes and a red nose. "Alex?"

"I can't help myself," she says softly, her voice shaking as she looks up at him. "I know I told you to stay away but I don't want you to."

"I don't want to stay away either." he says, feeling a bubble of hope in his chest as he looks down at her. He reaches out for her, touching her cheek gently and wiping away her tears. "I love you."

"No, please don't say that to me." she whispers tearfully, crying a little louder now. "Please don't make this harder for me."

"It doesn't have to be hard." he tells her, cupping her cheek softly.

"What part of us being together could ever be easy?" she asks, looking up at him with glassy eyes. Even in tears and sobbing softly, she looks so beautiful to him - he's so far gone for her already. "No one would ever accept us, Matt. What would your family say? God, what would your  _ mum _ say?"

"She would tell me that all she wants is for me to be happy." Matt says, without any hesitation. "She would tell me to love whoever I wanted to. And I want you, Alex."

"I'm almost the same age as her," Alex says, even as she rests her hand over his on her cheek, snuggling into his touch gratefully. "What would everyone else say?"

"Do you really care that much?" He asks, pulling her closer by the waist. She doesn't seem to be resisting him anymore, even as he leans down and presses his lips to her forehead. 

"You could lose opportunities if you go out with me," she continues, even as her eyes close as his lips touch her skin. "Really good opportunities for your career, Matt."

He shrugs. "I might lose them anyway. I don't care about that." 

She sniffs and shakes her head, pulling away. She looks up at him seriously, nose red and eyes filled with tears, pushing her curls out of her face. 

"I'm sorry." she whispers.

He smiles sadly, nodding in understanding. "I know. I never should've thought that anything could happen between us." Shoulders sagging slightly, he holds out his hand to her. "Come on, I'll walk you back to the pub."

She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around herself. He frowns.

"I'm not letting you walk alone, Alex. Especially not around here."

"No, not that." she says. She steps closer to him, one hand reaching for his and the other reaching out around his neck to pull his head down to hers. Their lips meet and he doesn't have time to process it - she kisses him passionately, her hands in his hair. He can feel tears on her cheeks and he tries to kiss her back but she pulls back too fast. 

She sniffs as she steps back, leaving him dazed. "I'm sorry because I love you too."

"Don't you dare apologise for that," he breathes, reaching out for her again. "Don't you  _ dare, _  Kingston."

She gives him a small, watery smile before she reaches for him on tiptoe, pressing a small kiss to his lips. She knows that tomorrow, the news of their relationship will be slapped all over the gossip rags, but she doesn't care about that - not anymore. As he wraps his arms around her, she feels safe and protected and loved, and she doesn't ever want to leave. 

"Are we going back to the pub?" He asks quietly into her hair. 

She reaches up and kisses him again, drunk on his taste and the way his lips slide against hers. Her hands slide from his back to his front, under his shirt and she starts caressing the muscles on his stomach.

"Not a chance," she whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a ton still chillin in my drive, so i'm gonna update probably once every two to three days :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

Alex is in distress.

Matt is too, but mostly because Alex is in distress. They're supposed to be welcoming Salome home for her post-birthday celebration - Alex's ex-husband got her for this year's celebration, so they're welcoming her back for their own little party. 

So far, it's been a disaster. Alex had planned to bake the cake by herself this year, but the store where she'd ordered Salome's birthday present had called and said they couldn't make the delivery - she'd have to personally go to the store and pick it up herself. Matt had offered to go, but one of the clerks had insisted that Alex come instead since the present was paid for by her credit card. 

After much instruction and arguing, Matt had ended up with the task to bake the cake, which naturally ended up in disaster. 

Matt looks at the ingredients, laid by Alex precisely in the order they were supposed to go into the bowl. She even wrote very precise instructions on the fridge in case he lost the one in his pocket. Honestly, he was starting to think she didn't trust his baking skills.

Which is completely fair - not that he'll ever let her know that.

So in an effort to prove her wrong, he reads the instructions three times, word for word before actually carrying it out. He double checks each step as he does it, and by the end, the batter is actually not that bad.

"Matt! I'm home! Is the cake ready yet?" Alex calls from the front door, kicking off her boots and dropping her keys into the dish. 

"Er- " he starts, staring at the bowl that's halfway poured into the cake tin. He hadn't expected himself to take an hour and a half to do the cake batter alone. "It's in progress."

She comes into the kitchen, a gift wrapped in her hand and takes in the sight of the very unbaked cake. 

"Matt! Salome reaches in fifteen minutes!" she exclaims, pointing at the clock. "How did you take almost two hours just for the batter?"

"Well you said to triple check each step!" He says defensively. "You know what, you go change, I'll take care of this."

She stares at him hard, hands on her hips. "Are you sure you can handle that?"

" _ Yes _ ." He says, pouring the rest of the mix into the cake tin. "I promise your cake will turn out perfect, Kingston."

She purses her lips, tilting her head at him. He can tell she's still hesitating, but he sighs impatiently and sets the cake tin down, pushing her out of the kitchen.

"Give me five minutes, tops." He says, turning back to the kitchen and leaving her outside. 

Alex sighs and shrugs, still not sure about it. Sometimes it feels like she has two children in her household - but she pushes that thought out of her head because Matt is definitely young enough to be that. Those thoughts of Matt have no place in her mind, not when there's a ring on her finger from him.

Every day with Matt is an adventure. It's exhilarating because she has no idea what's about to come next - he still surprises, even after seven years of pure love. She loves that about him. She loves that their relationship is full of fun and spontaneity. 

She loves it even more when Salome is around. Salome loves Matt, and she treats him like he's part of their family. She still calls him 'Matty', but he doesn't mind at all. He keeps saying that he loves being her Matty.

Alex misses her daughter. It's been a month since they've seen each other in real life and not on a computer screen, and she wants to make sure that Salome is welcomed in the best way possible.

"I told you I'd handle it, Kingston." Matt says triumphantly, barging into their shared bedroom as she's changing. 

"What did you do?" she asks, still slightly wary. 

"I turned the temperature up so the cake will cook faster." He says, smiling smugly and folding his arms. 

"I don't think that’s how it works," she says unsurely.

"Sure it is."

Alex stares at him, a thought occuring to her. "And how high did you set the temperature to?"

"The highest setting. Why?" He asks, narrowing his eyes as hers widens almost comically and she rushes out of the room. "Alex, what's- "

As if on cue, the smoke alarm and the automatic sprinklers goes off at the same time, and Alex's shout rumbles around the house like thunder.

"Matthew Robert Smith!"

He rushes down to see the kitchen covered in smoke and Alex standing at the doorway, hand covering her forehead as she mutters something in German he doesn't really understand.

He grimaces at the look on her face. "I'm really sorry." he tries, but all she can do is stare into the kitchen at the burnt cake and the spoilt oven. "I'll fix it, I promise."

"I'm home!" Salome calls, and she stops at the doorway as she examines the house, the furniture soaked through. A gleeful smile spreads across her face as she takes in the smoke coming out of the kitchen and the look on both Alex's and Matt's faces, and she starts laughing as she says, "Let me guess - Matty tried to cook?"

"Hey!" Matt says indignantly, but Alex shoots him a look and he pouts. "Yes."

Salome lets out a hearty laugh as she whoops and cheers. "Yes! Mom owes me fifty dollars!"

"What?" he frowns, looking at Alex. She looks away, pursing her lips.

"We made a bet when you guys first bought this house a year ago." Salome explains, still extremely happy. "I said that you would be the first to set off the sprinklers. And I was right! Love has made you blind, mom."

"I can't believe you bet against me, Sal!" Matt exclaims, wounded. "After I baked you the cake that I almost burnt the house down with!"

"Matt, give her fifty dollars." Alex says grudgingly. When Matt makes to protest, she leans up to him and whispers throatily, "I'll make it up to you next weekend, darling."

"Fine," he says grudgingly, even though he feels a surge of excitement coursing through him at that. "But only because you bet in my favour, Kingston. Your faith in me never dies."

"It just died with the oven," Alex says dryly. 

"Both of you are so romantic," Salome cuts in, dragging her suitcase and tossing her hair over shoulder. "But we should probably start cleaning up all the water. Mom, the neighbours can see you in your bra."

Alex looks down at the white shirt she's wearing. It's soaked through, and the red lacy bra under it can clearly be seen.

"I like it." Matt says in approval. "You should walk around like that more often, Kingston."

"I won't." She tilts her head at him and smirks. "Unless you want a repeat of what happened at the dining table."

Salome's eyes widens. "Dining table?"

"You enjoyed it."

"Who said I didn't?"

" _ Dining table? _ ”

"Then you won't mind having a repeat performance."

"I wouldn't mind anything, with you."

"Okay, that settles it. I'm going to my friend's.  _ Buy a new dining table.  _ Bye!" Salome says, dragging her suitcase back out.

"We were just joking!" Matt calls out to her, as Alex giggles behind her hand. "Well, not about the dining table, but about everything else!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Stop, just stop talking.”

"What the hell was that, Alex?" Matt demands, shutting the door behind him.

She hadn't even realised what was happening until she felt something grab her by the wrist and pull her behind into a room. She would've panicked even more if she hadn't recognised the touch of the person grabbing her almost instantly. 

"What the hell are  _ you _ doing, Matthew?" She argues back, rubbing her wrist from his painful grip. "We're at a party, for God's sake. Can we not continue the argument where someone might hear us?"

"That's always the problem with you, isn't it?" He says, voice full of spite. "Too wrapped up on keeping us a secret that you won't talk to me - even when we're alone. Christ, Alex, when we agreed to make it official I thought things would change."

"Why should they?" She asks defiantly, folding her arms. "I like the way things are with us right now."

"Really?" He asks derisively. "Which part do you like best? When we fight every single day or when we go to bed angry with each other and  _ you refuse to talk about anything _ ?"

"Fine!" she says, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat. "You want to talk? Talk, then."

"Why the hell were you dancing with Ian?" He asks.

"Seriously?" She says, raising an eyebrow. "It's just dancing, Matt."

"He had his hands on your- " he cuts himself off, swallowing tightly and shutting his eyes. Behind his eyelids he sees Alex swaying her hips, Ian's hands all over her body and he feels a surge of white hot jealousy and anger coursing through him as he grits out, "And you let him."

"Oh please," she says sardonically, folding her arms again defensively. "Like it isn't any different from you flirting with every single girl in your vicinity."

"Flirting doesn't mean anything, Alex." 

"Does it? Letting people know you're available, allowing them to think they have a chance to get in bed with you, encouraging them to  _ continue _ \- tell me, which part of that exactly is supposed to make me think that your flirting means nothing?"

"The part where I fucking  _ love  _ you, Alex!" He almost shouts in frustration. " _ That _ part! I love you so fucking much and every time you push me away it feels like you  _ want _ us to fail and I can't - I don't want that. I don't want us to fail."

She remains quiet, and suddenly the deadly silence in the room is haunting. He doesn't know if he prefers the silence or the constant arguing between them. 

"It's only been four months," He starts quietly, trying to gauge her reaction. She remains expressionless, staring at him and it makes him panic because maybe - maybe this wasn't the right time to say those words for the first time. "But I can't stand the thought of being without you. You seem so hellbent on allowing us to fall apart before we've even started and - do you even want this, Alex?"

"What?"

"Do you even want this?" He asks again. "Us? Because every time I try to - to be open with you, you distract me. You let other people  _ touch _ you just to make me jealous. Is that it? Do you not want to do this anymore?"

"Stop, just stop talking, you idiot." she whispers.

She reaches for him, pulling him down by his tie and capturing his lips. She kisses him urgently, passionately, rough moans escaping both their mouths as their hands start wandering. 

The kiss ends when they run out of breath and she pulls away, pressing small pecks to his lips.

"I'm sorry," she breathes, gripping his sides tightly. "I'm so sorry, Matt. I've been pushing you away because I - I'm so scared."

"Of what?" He asks tenderly, brushing hair out of her face. 

"I love you too." She says softly, looking into his eyes. "I love you so much and I'm scared that I- that we'll- we'll fail because I- " she breaks off, her eyes filling with tears. "This always happens to me. I fall in love and they - they decide that I'm not worth it."

"I'm not them." He says, eyes wide as he wipes her tears away. "I'm not them, Alex."

"I know. I can't help it." She tells him. "And you - you can do so much better than me, Matt. We both know that."

But he's already shaking his head. "No. No, I can't." He presses a small kiss to her lips and tugs her body closer. "I can't do any better when you're the only one I want, Alex. I'm not any of them, Alex. Please let me prove it to you."

She tilts her head up, pressing a soft and sweet kiss to his lips and wrapping her arms around his neck. She nods as she pulls away, offering him a watery smile.

"I love you, Kingston." he says tenderly, before his face hardens and he looks at the door. "Now if you'll please excuse me, I'll have to go punch Ian."

"Matthew,  _ no _ !" 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I missed you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments!! Have a slightly less angsty than normal prompt!

Alex waits anxiously in her flat, looking for a sign of any taxi passing by the street. She clutches her phone tightly in her chest - she hasn’t let it leave her side in almost a week, but there wasn’t a sign. Not a single text or call from him since he left the UK.   
  
A part of her knows it’s absurd to hope that her young, attractive co-star could possibly want more than the night they shared before he left. But when she woke up and found that note - that simple not that said ‘Wait for me xxx’ - she felt hope blossom in her chest like a flower’s petals gracing the sunlight for the first time.   
  
So she waits. She’s been waiting for two weeks without any sign of him, not even on any of the news sites Salome visits. She doesn’t even know if he’ll come by the Cardiff flats straight away, or if he’ll spend the night in London first - he certainly hadn’t bothered to tell her anything.   
  
While a part of her is disgruntled by the way things are going, she can’t help but remember how full her heart had been when their lips had touched without the barriers of a script or a camera crew. How he looked at her like he finally had something he’s been chasing for a lifetime, and she was the one who gave it to him. How he’d touched her like she was a piece of art, something to be treasured and admired and cherished; how he’d kissed her with a passion she hadn’t felt in such a long time.    
  
But as the sun disappears beyond the horizon and the moon and stars take its place, it becomes clear that Matt definitely isn’t coming by tonight, and she settles down in her couch and sighs tiredly. Tears gather in her eyes but she’s determined not to let them fall - it had been her own fault for getting her hopes up. She supposes it’s true, what they say - hope breeds eternal misery.   
  
She tucks her knees under herself and toys with her phone, debating whether or not she should’ve been the one to pluck up the courage and call him during his leave, but she’d been too afraid that maybe he was having fun during his holiday. He has been known to drink and party a lot, and who was she to disturb him after a very gruelling year of filming Who?   
  
She wipes at the corners of her eye and sniffs a little, looking down at her knees dejectedly. It always ends this way, doesn’t it? For her, at least.   
  
A knock startles her and she quickly fixes her appearance, frowning and wondering who could be showing up so late. Another flicker of hope blooms in her chest but she quashes it down quickly - she doesn’t need another disappointment.    
  
She opens the door. It’s Matt.   
  
“Hi,” he says. He looks tired and jet-lagged. His suitcase is behind him, and he has a bouquet of roses in his hand.    
  
Alex can’t bring herself to say anything. Something within her snaps and she launches herself at him, pressing her lips to his and wrapping her arms around his neck. She feels tears rolling down her cheeks but she doesn’t care, because he’s here, with roses, and that means that that night they shared hadn’t meant nothing to him.   
  
To his credit, once he’s done flailing in surprise, he responds enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around her. He kisses her the way she remembers, like he just can’t get enough of her. When she pulls back, she sniffs a little and drops her head to his shoulder.   
  
“I missed you, Kingston.” He whispers into her hair, and this time she can’t help herself.   
  
“Did you?” She asks.    
  
The question hangs in the air around them, heavy and tense, until he lets out a little disbelieving chuckle.    
  
“Of course.” He says, frowning down at her. She looks away.   
  
“I never received a call, or a text.” she starts, keeping her voice even. But even then she can feel the onslaught of tears building up inside her, just waiting to burst. “After just one night and you left with nothing but a note. I wasn’t even sure if I was just a shag to you.”   
  
“I - you never called, either!” Matt exclaims in disbelief. “I thought that maybe you needed space after that night, and when I came back we could talk properly.”   
  
“Let’s talk properly, then.” Alex says. “What do you want, Matt?”   
  
He looks at her. “You really don’t know? After all that - after that night, after this, you really don’t know?”   
  
She raises her eyebrows at him, and he sighs.   
  
“You.” He says simply, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “I’ve been trying to get you to notice me for three years, Kingston, and then you were right there and you wanted me too - I - ” he breaks off and shakes his head. “Do you know how much that night meant to me? But I needed to know if you were - if it wasn’t the alcohol. I needed to know that it was real, because - Jesus, Alex, have you any idea how - how - how  _ out _ of my  _ league _ you are?”   
  
“Matt,” she whispers, shaking her head. She’s crying silently now, unable to stop herself.   
  
“You are  _ so _ out of my league.” He says seriously to her. “And I’ve never been so serious about anyone before.”   
  
“You’re the one that’s out of my league, darling.” She says quietly to him.    
  
“You’re blind, Kingston.” He says. He looks down at the bouquet of roses and hands them to her. “Does that mean you’ll accept my roses?”   
  
She smiles, and takes the flowers from him. “Thank you.” She says softly, finally stepping aside to let him in. “By the way,” she steps up and presses a kiss to her lips. “I missed you too.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I’m pregnant.”

She blurts it out before he has a chance to greet even kick off his shoes. His keys are still in his hand and he looks like he’s just about to smile at her, but she feels like if she doesn’t tell him now, she never will. And he deserves to know. He  _ has _ to know.

“I’m pregnant.”

Her hands clench nervously at her sides and she feels another wave of tears flood her eyes, and she can no longer handle looking at him anymore. God, this wasn’t supposed to  _ happen _ . They’d been careful - particularly so, given that they’d agreed this thing between them hadn’t been serious. Just something to do to work off the edge and tension.

“What?” he asks, as she starts pacing to avoid looking at him.

“I’m pregnant.” she repeats, breathing heavily. “Pregnant, Matt. At  _ fifty _ .”

“Is it- is it mine?” he asks tentatively.

She whips her head around to face him and instantly he knows he shouldn’t have asked - no matter what they had or hadn’t said, no matter if this was just a casual relationship, he’d known deep down that neither of them would ever sleep with someone else while they had each other to warm their beds.

“I was just making sure - I didn’t mean to- ” he starts, but Alex cuts him off, voice full of hurt and disbelief.

“Of course it’s yours,” she breathes, a tear rolling down her cheek. “Of course it’s bloody yours, Matthew, the one man I’ve slept with regularly who I didn’t want a family with. Of course it’s bloody  _ yours _ !”

“I’m sorry,” he flinches, swallowing roughly and finally gaining enough sense to kick off his shoes and drop his bag carelessly on the floor.

He starts towards her slowly, grabbing both her hands and placing a kiss on the back of both her palms. She feels cold, like she hasn’t bothered to turn on the heater. He pulls her closer but she places her hands on his chest and maintains a little space between them.

“God, Matt, what do we do?” she asks tearfully, sniffling. “I guess we could - we could get an abortion, but- ”

“Is that what you want?” he asks seriously, forcing her to look him in the eye.

“I don’t know,” she admits softly. “If I’d been a few years younger I would’ve jumped at the chance but now… there’s too many risks, too many things could go wrong- ”

“If it counts for anything, I’ll help you.” he tells her. “If you keep it, I’ll be in every part of their life.”

“Matt,” she starts, but he hushes her, placing a finger on her lips.

“I want to be in every part of their life.” he says, completely honestly. Alex swallows nervously, looking up at him. “I want to be in every part of your life, too, if you’ll have me.”

She freezes just a little, her mouth gaping, but when she comes to herself again when he gently presses a kiss to her lips.

“But- you said you didn’t want that,” she reminds him, and he looks down at his feet.

“I thought it was the answer you wanted to hear,” he admits softly. “I - I didn’t want to scare you away. If that was the only way I could have you then I wouldn’t have done anything to jeopardise it.”

Blinking back tears, she shakes her head. “You bloody idiot.” Reaching for the back of his neck, she pushes him down towards her, pressing her lips to his in a desperate, passionate kiss that left both of them breathless and panting when they parted.

“Are we really going to do this?” she asks, just a hint of fear in her eyes.

He smiles. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I'm in love with you, and I'm terrified."

Matt frowns as he looks down at his phone - a couple of texts, calls and voicemails - but nothing from Alex. Normally, he wouldn’t think much about it, but they’ve been texting non-stop since she came back. That was four months ago.

 

They’ve been going out since then. Nothing much, just a couple dates here and there, a movie and takeout at hers or dinner and cuddling under the sheets at his. It’s been really nice so far. He really, really likes her - he can see himself spending the rest of his life with her.

She likes him too - he thinks. But he’s getting worried. Alex hasn’t texted him for over four days, and when he tries to talk to her back at her flat she always says she’s too tired. He hadn’t thought much if it since she’s rehearsing for a new play, but it feels like she’s pulling away.

He bites his lip as his heart jumps a little - not in excitement, but fear. Perhaps Alex has been so distant lately because she isn’t interested anymore. Perhaps he was wrong; perhaps she didn’t like him as much as he thought.

His finger hovers above the call button on his phone, debating on whether or not he should talk to her. He doesn’t want anything to end between them - not when there are so many things not yet explored, so many aspects of their relationship he hasn’t yet discovered. He needs to tell her that.

But perhaps this is a conversation better had in person. He shouldn’t tell her important things over the phone - he needs to be able to read her features, scrutinise her reactions. No, he should go by her flat before going home tonight - just to make sure everything is okay between them. Make sure that she still wants this - wants  _ him _ .

He spends the drive there thinking about what to say to her. He asks himself what sounds right - it should be truthful and blunt, no need to beat around the bush. Alex appreciates that. It shouldn’t sound forceful, either. He should be straight to the point to avoid confusion and misunderstanding.

With this in mind, he arrives at Alex’s flat less than ten minutes later. She should still be in rehearsal, but that’s alright since he’s got a key with him - they agreed exchanged keys two weeks ago, since everything was going so well.

Now, he isn’t so sure.  _ Are _ they doing well? Is someone wrong with them? Now that he thinks about it, Alex has been acting weird ever since they exchanged keys. And even more than that - since then, he’s used his key multiple times. She hasn’t used hers even once.

The thought makes his heart sink to his stomach. Is Alex unhappy with him?

Maybe she is. Maybe that’s why she’s been so closed off lately. It’s the only explanation that makes sense. Why else would she suddenly stop calling and texting and spending time with him? Why else would she not use her key? She doesn’t want him anymore.

He sighs as realisation dawns on him. He’d thought - or, more accurately, he’d  _ hoped _ \- that Alex was… that one. That one person he could spend the rest of his life with. Even before anything started happening between them, there was a certain attraction to her, an underlying  _ want _ to be near her, a quiet voice in the back of his mind. And since then, he’s been happy. And while he knows that it’s only really been a few months, he can’t help but feel like maybe she really is  _ it _ for him.

Clearly she isn’t, not if she doesn’t feel that way as well. He has no interest in being in a one-sided love affair - not even with Alex. Maybe  _ especially _ not with Alex, because it would hurt too much.

He takes a seat at the dining table, his heart heavy with sadness. Alex is and always will be someone special to him, and though he understands that he isn’t what she wants, he can’t help but feel a little ache in his chest. Like maybe he could’ve done something differently - treated her a different way, somehow.

But what’s done is done. There’s no use crying over spilt milk.

He didn’t have to wait long for Alex - he hears her key in the lock a mere ten minutes later, and he looks up at the door as it swings open and Alex walks in, looking tired but still so beautiful. She doesn’t see him, so he announces his presence.

“Alex,” he says. She jumps and turns but he raises his hands in surrender, showing that he means no harm. “It’s just me.”

“Matt,” she says, sighing a little in relief before her body tenses up again as she looks at him. “Matt.” she says again, a little panicked.

“Yes, Matt,” he chuckles a little. He runs his hands through his hair awkwardly, sighing a little. He might as well get this over and done with. “You don’t need to panic or anything, I’m just - I know.”

She tilts her head and frowns in confusion. “What do you know?”

“Why you’ve been so… distant lately.” he says slowly, reading her reaction carefully. “And I’ve come to say that it’s okay. I’m okay - or I will be, at least.”

Her frown becomes deeper as she walks slowly towards him. “I’m not following, Matt.”

“I know that you’re…” he sighs again, continuing dejectedly, “I know you don’t want to be with me anymore. And I’m not mad, I promise,” he rushes to add. “I’m just… a little sad. Well, very sad. But it’s your decision, and I want you to know that I’m okay with it if that’s what you want.”

She remains silent, a slight frown on her face as if she’s still trying to comprehend what he’s telling her. She looks to the side and back up at him again, shaking her head.

“I’m - what -  _ where _ did you get the idea that I don’t want to be with you anymore?” She asks, confusion lining her features.

“Well - I thought- ” he flusters, feeling confused too because he doesn’t understand - if that isn’t it then what could it be? “Because you’ve been acting so - so  _ distant _ lately - you haven’t been calling or texting as much as you used to and these past few days, when I ask if you want to just spend some time together, you always have some excuse. And I don’t know, I just thought it’s because - you were trying to break up with me and you didn’t know how to tell me.”

She still doesn’t say anything, but the frown on her face is deeper now. When she looks up at him, her eyes are filled with tears.

“Do you  _ want _ to break up with me?” she asks quietly.

“What? No! No, of course not, I’m just saying - I thought  _ you _ wanted- ” he cuts himself off, groaning in frustration. Somehow, they’re in some complicated misunderstanding despite him trying his best to be clear. He reaches for her shoulders, holding her tightly. “Is this not what you want?”

“I don’t want to break up with you,” she says, her voice choked with tears, and he feels  _ awful _ because she’s crying and it’s all his fault.

“Okay, then we won’t. I don’t want to break up, either.” He says softly, wiping her cheeks gently with the pad of his thumb. “But why have you been acting so weird? Is it because of me? Have I done something wrong?”

“No,” she says, sniffing and shaking her head. Tears are still slowly streaming down her cheeks and he keeps trying to wipe them away, but they won’t stop falling. “It’s not you, darling, I promise. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“You can - you can tell me anything, Alex, I promise.” he says quietly to her, frowning as he watches her cry. He doesn’t like it - he doesn’t like the sight of Alex in tears.

But she shakes her head as she catches a sob in her throat, shutting her eyes tight. “Not this, Matt. I can’t tell you this.”

“Why not?” he asks.

“I just can’t.” she sobs quietly. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” he assures her, wrapping her up in his arms. She goes into his embrace willingly, burying her face in his shoulder as she cries. His arms tighten around her, squeezing lightly as he tries to comfort her. “I promise you won’t lose me. Just tell me, please.”

She takes a while to answer, sobbing uncontrollably into his shirt and staining the fabric, but he places his hand at the back of her head, stroking her hair gently. He tries whispering words of comfort in her ear, hushing her softly, but he feels like he isn’t really doing anything.

“I think I…” she starts quietly, hiccupping slightly and pulling away, looking up into his eyes. She hesitates for a while before pulling herself together completely. “I think I’m in love with you,” she whispers, so softly he strains to hear her, “and I’m terrified.”

“What?” he asks, not because he can’t hear her, but because he can’t quite believe what she’s saying.

“I think I love you, Matt.” she says again, her voice trembling with fear.

“You do?” he asks, an emotion he can’t explain rising in his chest and clogging his throat with tears - happy tears.

She nods.

“But wait - why are you - why are you terrified?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Her shoulders sag and she looks down. “Because this can’t ever work out.” she says softly. “And I’ll just get hurt in the end.”

“What - why - I’ll never hurt you, Alex. Not on purpose.” he promises, gripping her tight.

She shakes her head, still not meeting his eyes as she explains, “I’ve never done well in relationships. Love isn’t exactly my strong suit in life, Matt. I - I know I’ll end up hurt. I just know it.”

“Was that why you were trying to stay away? So that you’ll keep yourself from being hurt?” he asks, lifting her chin so she can look into his eyes. “You can’t do that, Alex. Please, give me one chance. Just one proper chance because I really,  _ really _ don’t want this to end.”

He leans down to give her a soft, passionate kiss, their lips melding together as he rubs his nose against hers. He pulls back but not away, cupping her cheeks with both his hands and shutting his eyes as he leans his forehead down on hers.

“Please,” he says again.

She leans up to press her lips to his once more, lingering a little longer before pulling away. She brings a hand up to his face, stroking his cheek and scrutinising his features, as if making sure that this really is what he wants - that his request is sincere and from the heart.

“Okay,” she whispers finally. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not still terrified.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t be anymore,” he promises, grinning against her lips. “You shouldn’t ever be terrified of thinking you love me, Alex. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I think I love you too.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: “is there a reason you’re naked on my bed?”

Alex unlocks the door to her house, feeling weary and exhausted. The play she’s been working on has just finished its month long run, and after waiting with fans outside for a few hours, the cast had insisted that they got some drinks together to celebrate the end of a immensely successful run - and, of course, her birthday.    
  
At the stroke of midnight, she’ll be turning another year older. She honestly doesn’t think much about it. Her age hasn’t bothered her in a long time. She thinks it’s because she’s very satisfied with her life - with her a job and her daughter and friends - and of course, Matt.   
  
Dear Matt. He’s been so loving and gentle, patiently waiting for her. It’s almost been five years of ups and downs with him. He’s one of the things she loves most in her life - second only to her daughter - and every night she lies in bed with him she counts her lucky stars that he’s by her side.   
  
She can’t wait to just get under the covers and snuggle close to him. He always feels so warm, his arms wrapped around her. She loves listening to his heartbeat when she hugs him close - the sound so comforting and soothing, providing a nice lullaby for her to fall asleep to.   
  
She drops her bags onto the couch and kicks off her shoes lazily, too tired to pick up after herself. She pulls her dress over her head and walks to the room in nothing but her underwear and her jewellry, taking the latter off easily as she opens the door.   
  
And she stands, utterly shocked, not a sound leaving her as she stares.   
  
Matt is standing proudly on the bed, hands on his hips, a beaming smile upon his face. His pose almost looks like a superhero, which would’ve been only mildly hilarious if he hadn’t been stark naked.    
  
“Surprise!” He shouts.   
  
Alex’s jaw drops and her eyes widens, but still she manages, “Is there a reason you’re naked on my bed?”   
  
“On  _ our _ bed, Kingston.” He corrects, jumping down onto the hardwood floor. He straightens up again and smiles up at her. “Since I’ve officially finished unpacking all my boxes.”   
  
It’s still a new arrangement - one they came up with together. They’d been taking things very, very slow, but when they decided that they were serious about each other, Matt had moved in part-time with Alex while she was in the UK. He still kept his old flat in London, and he still slept there whenever Alex would go back to the States.   
  
But now she’s here full-time, and they’d decided that it was time for him to move in, for good. So he sold his flat the first chance he got and packed all his stuff, moving to Alex’s the same day. That had been two weeks ago.   
  
“You’re naked.” She says again, and this time her eyes flicker to the windows. “And the  _ curtains _ aren’t drawn!”   
  
“Relax!” Matt says soothingly, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. “No one is going to see us here.”    
  
“What is this, Matt.” She gestures vaguely to his state of undress, and he smiles that charming smile down at her again.   
  
He turns around and walks over to the drawers, talking as he does, “I know you said you didn’t want to make a big deal out of your birthday. And I know you’re tired because you’ve been working very hard on that play.” He bends down to retrieve something and Alex leans back to admire the curve of his bum. “But I figured I can still treat you to something, at no cost whatsoever.”   
  
He walks back to her and holds his hands out, willing her to take something. She frowns as she looks down at it, turning it over in her hands.    
  
“It’s a ribbon.” She states, looking up at him in confusion.   
  
“Yes,” Matt nods, taking it from her again. “And it goes right.... here.”   
  
He ties it around his cock and poses for her. She laughs out loud, tilting her head back.   
  
“You are absolutely ridiculous,” she says, shaking her head in amusement.    
  
He grins back at her, obviously pleased with himself for making her laugh.    
  
“So, are you my present?” She asks, tilting his head at him.    
  
He nods. “I’m here to do as you wish, madam.” He bows to her.   
  
“Oooh,  _ madam _ .” Alex repeats. “I like the sound of that.”   
  
“I thought you might.” He grins back. He takes her hand and leads her to the bed, sitting her down on the edge of it. “So I’ve got massage oil, some normal games, some masks if you want to try them - the lady in the store said they were very good ones and I trust her. Dirty games, more dirty games - only if you’re in the mood for it, of course - and, yes - a jumbo pack of condoms.”   
  
He holds the pack in his hand hopefully and she laughs again, leaning back on the bed.    
  
“I’m sorry, darling, but I think I’m too tired for that tonight.” She says apologetically, but he doesn’t look dejected or disappointed. He just shrugs and tosses it aside.   
  
“Alright then, what do you want me to do for you?” He asks eagerly, sitting down on the bed beside her.    
  
“A massage would be heaven right now, darling, thank you.” She says to him.   
  
“Alright, one massage, coming right up.” He says, grabbing the massage oil.   
  
She lays her front down on the bed and unhooks her bra, tossing it to the side of the room. He goes up behind her and starts smoothing the oil into her skin, making her moan as his knuckles press against her sore muscles.   
  
“Your hands are  _ heaven _ , darling.” She moans, sighing in content.   
  
“I know.” He says softly to her, and something about his voice awakens desire in her - his tone has changed from before. It’s low and suggestive and suddenly she feels fire in the pit of her stomach.    
  
“You know,” she says softly to him, looking back over her shoulder. His eyes are dark when they meet hers. “Maybe we can try a few of those dirty games after this and see where that leads us.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Distracting Kisses

“Darling, are you really spending the rest of your days off in here?” Alex asks, leaning against the door to Matt’s office in their shared house.    
  
Matt looks up at his wife, glasses perched on top of his nose, and sighs tiredly, rubbing his forehead. “It’s not like I’ve got a choice, have I?”   
  
“You always do, Matt.” She crosses the room and walks to stand behind his chair, massaging his shoulders soothingly. “You’ve been working too hard. I barely see you anymore, and you’re in the house.”   
  
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, it’s just - ” he groans in pleasure as Alex’s hands work their magic on his shoulders. “This is my first job behind the camera and I don’t want to screw it up.”   
  
“You’ll do wonderfully,” she reassures him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and inhaling the scent of his shampoo for a moment. “You just have to relax. Take it easy for a while.”   
  
She tilts her head and starts pressing kisses to his neck, her hands moving up and down his arms lightly. His defenses are already immensely weakened by the fact that he hasn’t touched his wife in over two weeks. The feel of her soft kisses against his skin almost makes him give in, but he clears his throat and turns his head towards hers, effectively stopping her kisses.   
  
“I can’t do this now,” he says gently, looking Alex in the eye. He presses a soft kiss to her lips, just to let her know he isn’t angry at her.    
  
But she deepens the kiss and rounds the chair, settling herself comfortably on his lap. His arms automatically go around her waist as he responds enthusiastically, and when they both part, Alex is wearing a triumphant smile on her face.   
  
“Not fair,” Matt says, pouting slightly as Alex laughs and runs her hand through his hair. “You know I can never resist you.”   
  
She smiles. “I know.” She leans in and presses another deep kiss to his lips, pulling back but not away as she continues, “That’s why I always do it.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I don’t need you anymore.”

For someone who acts for a living, Matt is finding incredibly hard pretending that everything was alright. The suit he’s wearing is hot and stuffy and he’s pretty sure his tie is choking him to death - but nothing is as suffocating as the tension around him and Alex.   
  


He sneaks a sideways glance at her, finding her chatting with some of her older actor friends. He sees them casting weird looks at him and he sighs internally - if Alex is spreading rumours about their situation then this whole situation would’ve been for nothing. Why did she insist on making him come for these horrible award shows, anyway? She’s never been one for these things.   
  
He’s done everything she asked him to do. He walked the red carpet with her, put his arm around her waist, kissed her cheek and smiled at cameras, even looked at her lovingly while the interviewers asked them questions. He doesn’t know how long she expects their crumbling marriage to be a secret to the outside world. He doesn’t know how long he can continue this way.   
  
He watches discreetly as she leaves her group of friends and heads out towards an empty balcony with a glass of wine in her hands. The group of women watch her with an almost pitying expression before turning their eyes onto him.    
  
He ignores their gaze and makes his way towards the balcony, his own drink in his hand. He’s not sure what he’s doing here and he definitely doesn’t want to stay - but he needs to tell her first.    
  
He finds her looking out onto the vast scenery before her, leaning forwards against the railing and taking a sip out of her glass. She’s a vision, she always is - but tonight, donning a black, lacy, strapless number with a high slit in her skirt, he remembers what it was like when they were first married. When he’d find her sexy and enchanting no matter what she wore. He doesn’t know what happened.   
  
“Alex,” he says softly, not wanting to startle her. She doesn’t turn, so he approaches her and leans against the railing too. “I just came to tell you that I’m leaving.”   
  
She nods, but she doesn’t face him. “No problem. You can take the car, I’ll find a cab.”   
  
He frowns. She hadn’t even tried to stop him. Worse, she wasn’t even looking at him.   
  
“Is something wrong?” He asks tentatively.    
  
But she ducks her head and sighs, so, so sadly that it surprises him. He hadn’t been expecting it. “I don’t need you anymore.”   
  
“What?”   
  
She turns to face him, and he sees that her eyes are red and tearful. “I don’t need you anymore, and that’s why our marriage is ending.”   
  
“Alex, what - ”   
  
“When we first got married I couldn’t stand being without you. It was like - like I was missing a limb, or an organ.” She swallows and shuts her eyes. “But - but now it just feels normal. When you leave, I don’t feel anything. When you come back, I don’t feel anything.”   
  
She takes a shuddering breath and tears start falling from her eyes. “And I hate it. I hate that I’m not as in love with you as I was then.”   
  
He feels a sudden, piercing pain in his chest at the admission. He doesn’t say anything, because suddenly he’s lost his voice - he’s not even sure what he’d say, even if he didn’t.    
  
“I know you’re not as in love with me, either.” Alex says - and although she says it in a reassuring manner, all it does is intensify the pain in his heart.   
  
“What do you mean?” He asks, his voice wobbling only slightly.    
  
“When you saw me in this,” she gestures towards her dress. “There was nothing. Your jaw didn’t drop, you didn’t stare - ”   
  
“But I told you you looked beautiful.”    
  
“It isn’t the same, Matt.” She says softly. She raises her free hand and places it on his chest, caressing the material of his suit gently. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay, you’ll find someone else - ”   
  
“Alex, I - ” He starts, and for the first time in so long, he feels a fear sparking inside him, growing stronger every second this conversation goes on. “I don’t want to find someone else.”   
  
Alex sighs, but it isn’t disappointment - more defeat. “Darling, please. We’ve tried, and it didn’t work. It happens.”   
  
“We can try again.” He offers, his own hand rising up to hold hers on his chest. “We can try a thousand times.”   
  
She shakes her head and pulls her hand away. “I told you, Matt, I don’t need you anymore.”   
  
“Okay then. Do you want me?” He asks, searching her face.   
  
She hadn’t expected that question. She looks up at him with helpless eyes. “Matt...”   
  
“Do you want me, Alex?” He asks again.   
  
She closes her eyes for a second, more tears escaping. “More than I’ve ever wanted anyone else.” She breathes.   
  
“Then we’re doing this. We can start again.” He says hopefully, taking her hand and squeezing it. He presses his lips to the back of her palm, pressing his cheek against her skin. “I know that we still love each other, Alex. We just got lost along the way.”   
  
“Are you sure about this?” She asks as he pulls her closer. He carefully plucks her wine glass out of her hand and sets it down on the railing, along with his own glass.    
  
He slides an arm around her waist and looks down at her, and he feels like he’s finally looking at his wife. “I know that I don’t want to lose you.”   
  
Her arms wrap themselves around his neck and she presses her body close to his. She doesn’t remember the last time they were this close without a camera in their faces, and as she takes a deep breath she smells the heady scent of his aftershave and cologne, and an onslaught of memories present themselves - memories of a happier time.    
  
“Neither do I.” She confesses softly.    
  
She looks up at him, and that ever present pull tugs at her gut, makes her want him with such a new intensity that she doesn’t wait for him to make the first move. She presses her lips to his, feeling like she’s finally found something she hadn’t known she lost. When he responds with equal passion and enthusiasm, she feels her heart soar to a height it hasn’t been in almost a year - when everything started falling apart.    
  
She pulls away, breathless, and he rests his forehead on hers. It’s the first time they’ve properly kissed in so long, and she can’t help the elation that fills her heart. A bright smile takes over her face and she sees her expression mirrored in his. He presses a kiss to her cheek and hugs her tighter.    
  
“We’ll be okay.” He says in her ear, before capturing her lips again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: “you’re so weird.”

“First day of break, Kingston!” Matt exclaims, barging into her bedroom and pulling the curtains apart, letting the sunlight illuminate the room. 

 

She groans and pulls the sheets over her head, using language she's careful only to use when Salome isn't around. She hears Matt snickering and his footsteps approaching her, and before she can even prepare herself for what's coming, he snatches the covers from her grasp. 

 

However, he loses his balance as he bends over and he ends up falling on top of her, arms flailing and cheeks turning red as his face misses her chest just slightly. 

 

She lifts her head to look down at him. “If all you wanted to do was get into my bed, darling, all you had to do was ask.” 

 

“No, Alex - I - oh, bugger -” he flusters as his cheeks turn even redder, and he scrambles to get off of her. His skin is burning from the contact and his entire body is reacting to Alex - it probably doesn't help that she isn't wearing a bra - and he looks up to avoid himself from glancing at the rest of her body. “I'm so sorry.” he says to the ceiling. 

 

He hears Alex chuckle a bit. “Relax, darling.” She reaches out to touch his hand gently. “It's okay. Really.”

 

“Okay. Good.” He says, still looking up. 

 

Alex waits expectantly for a moment, staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “Well, are you going to look at me now?”

 

Matt flushes even further and clears his throat. “Well - um - are you decent?” 

 

Both eyebrows raised now, she lets a moment of silence pass before she lets out another laugh, this time sitting up and grabbing the sheet to cover her thighs. “Yes, darling. You can look now.”

 

He sighs with relief and looks down, before he gasps again and looks back up to the ceiling. “Kingston! You said you were decent!”

 

“I am!” she says back, looking down at all her clothed private bits in confusion. 

 

_ “You're not wearing a bra!” _ he almost hisses out painfully, to Alex's great amusement. “I can see your - your -” 

 

“My breasts?” she finishes for him. “Nobody sleeps with a bra on, Matt. And don't pretend you haven't seen them before.”

 

“I - but I -” he stammers. He squeaks a little and Alex fixes him with a bewildered expression. Has he really been this prudish all this while? “I'll just - I'll wait for you outside.”

 

He turns to go but Alex calls him back. “Are you okay?”

 

“I -”

 

“Don't lie to me.” she warns. “And look at me when you tell me what's wrong.”

 

Feeling a little scolded, he turns slowly, looking in Alex's vicinity but never quite meeting her eye. His stance is rigid, his hands fidgeting. His face is still red. 

 

“I'm okay, Alex.” he says unconvincingly. “Really.”

 

She frowns and sits up, swinging her legs over the side of her bed to look up at him. “I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, Matt, I didn't mean to-”

 

“No, no, it's not that. Really.” he rushes to assure her, though he still can't make eye contact with her. “I should - I should really go now.”

 

He makes to leave again but her hand shoots out and grasps one of his, and by doing so her fingers accidentally brush against the front of his jeans. He jerks a little, his breathing hard as she lets out a gasp and stares at his zipper in shock.

 

“Oh God. Matthew, are you -” 

 

“I'm so so sorry, Alex, I - I didn't expect -” he looks mortified and embarrassed, rushing over his words that she struggles to catch any of them at all. 

 

But he looks so genuinely apologetic that she just grasps his hand tighter. “It's okay. Listen to me, Matt.  _ It's okay. _ I get it, you're young. Everything's sexy.” She laughs brightly, trying to alleviate the tension as she looks down at herself. “Honestly, it's been a while since a man has had that kind of reaction towards me, and I'm not even naked. I'm still half asleep, my hair is a mess and I have dragon's breath - honestly,  _ how  _ are you even aroused right now? You're so weird, Matt.”

 

He remains silent when she finishes, laughing a little lamely. She becomes aware that she's still holding onto his hand and she lets go quickly, but he reaches for her back. 

 

“You're the weird one.” he says quietly, and she looks up at him in confusion. It's the first time he's met her eyes since he fell on top of her, and she can't help but feel the intensity of his gaze burn into her. “You don't realise how beautiful and amazing and  _ sexy _ you are. Every man in your presence would have this reaction to you, Alex, you just don't seem to notice. You are the weirdest person in the whole universe.”

 

“I…” she trails off, licking her lips as he goes down on his knees in front of her. “I have no idea what's going on right now.”

 

Matt smiles a little and brings his hands to her face, touching her cheek and leaning in closer. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

Their lips meet for one, two, three kisses and she feels dazed, her mind hazy with pleasure and arousal coursing through her body because suddenly Matt is looking at her like she's his breakfast, lunch and dinner for the entire week. She leans down and captures his lips for a longer, more passionate kiss, their tongues melding together and soft moans escaping as they nibble on each other's lips. 

 

She breaks away slowly, panting. He settles back down on his knees as he waits for an answer.

 

She parts her knees and welcomes him in between them. “Don't you dare.” 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "C'mere, you can sleep on my lap while I'm working."/Smut

 

Alex leans her head by the doorway, watching her husband work with a sad smile. He's been hard at work ever since he returned from shooting in New York, and he hasn't taken a single break since landing back in London, save the first day to sleep off the jet lag. 

 

Alex can't remember the last time he was so close for so long and yet they still haven't made love since he got back. She's starting to ache for him - for his nearness and his touch, and she finds herself laying in bed at night next to him and craving for his arms around her. He always delivers, of course - but she wants more. So much more than just sleeping next to each other. 

 

He looks up from his work and smiles at the sight of her, making her heart melt around the edges again. He's always had that effect on her. Seven years of marriage hasn't changed a single thing. 

 

“Is it time for supper already? I must've lost track again.” he says, taking his glasses off and placing it on the table in front of him. That's one area in which he never fails to deliver - no how busy he is, he always makes time to eat with her. She loves that about him. 

 

“No, not yet. You've still got an hour more,” she assures him softly, pushing herself off the doorway and walking towards him. “I was just getting lonely downstairs. Thought you could use the company.”

 

Matt's smile brightens at that. “Only if it's yours.”

 

She smiles as she reaches his table, glancing down at the papers he has scattered across the wooden surface. 

 

“Why don't you take a break?” she suggests, looking hopefully at him. “You've been back for almost a week but I still haven't given you your welcome home present.”

 

His face lights up in a smile before it slowly fades and he slumps back in his chair, looking tired and regretful. “I can't. There's  _ so  _ much to do.”

 

Alex bites her lip, feeling disappointed but trying not to show it. “I understand. I'll have supper waiting for you in the kitchen.”

 

She turns to leave but Matt's voice stops her, and she turns back to look at him with a questioning look in her eyes. He looks so terribly apologetic and she smiles in response, letting him know she isn't angry at all.

 

“Don't worry, darling. I just miss touching you, that's all.” she says. 

 

“I miss touching you too,” Matt whispers, his eyes roaming up and down her form like the mere sight of her can quench his thirst. But it isn't enough - just seeing her will never be enough. Making a split second decision, he pushes his chair back to make room. “C'mere, you can sit on my lap until I'm done working.”

 

Alex raises her eyebrows, as if asking silently if he's sure about it. He merely pats his thighs expectantly in response, waiting for her to round the table. 

 

“But - will you be able to look at your papers while I'm on your lap?” She asks, hesitating.

 

He just smiles and tugs at her hips gently, pulling her down onto his lap. She squeals in surprise and laughs when he gives her a self satisfied look. He wraps his arms tightly around her waist, giving her a warm hug and pressing his lips to her arm. 

 

“Okay, now - turn so you can lean your head on my shoulder.” he instructs her. She follows suit, getting off of him and placing her thighs on either side of his, straddling him in his seat. “Perfect. I especially love the view.” he says to her, looking up at her face.

 

She shakes her head and slaps his shoulder playfully. She leans down, her arms wrapping around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. 

 

“I love you.” she whispers into his skin, her hands playing with the hair at the back of his neck. “I can't wait to make love to you.”

 

He turns his face towards her, inhaling her scent deeply as one of his hands stroke her back. “You have no idea how badly I want to, Alex. I love you so much.”

 

His hand trails from her back to her waist, up her side and hooking his fingers onto her arm gently, as he presses small kisses to her shoulder. 

 

His touch ignites her - it always has, and the way his fingers trail across her body makes her shiver in delight. This is the closest they've been since he came back from New York besides when they're asleep, and her body just aches with want.

 

She shuts her eyes and moves her hips unconsciously, fidgeting against him. Pulling away, she looks into his darkened eyes, filled with the same wanton need and desire to make love to each other the way they haven't been able to in nearly a week. As their lips meet, their tongues and teeths clashing with each other, the most fiery and passionate kiss they've shared since their honeymoon, he knows that no matter how hard he tries to resist it, he won't be able to. And he's completely fine with that.

 

A needy moan escapes his lips as their mouths meet and she whimpers in response, fingers entangling in his hair as she takes control. His hands slip from her arms down to her thighs, caressing the hem of her skirt gently and pushing it up to reveal skin he's missed touching so very much. 

 

“Please,” she whispers, her breathing heavy as she leans forward and lets her forehead rest on his. “Please, darling.”

 

He whips the dress over her head in one swift movement, revealing tempting skin to his hungry gaze. He leans forward to suckle at the skin on her chest as her head falls back. 

 

“Anything for you,” he whispers against her skin. “Everything, Alex.”

 

She reaches for his shirt, tucking it out of his shorts and throwing it over her head. She unhooks her bra and tosses it aside too, and he seems to lose all control at that manoeuvre, attacking newly exposed flesh with a ferocity and passion that surprises her. 

 

She lets out a startled gasp as he brings a nipple to his waiting mouth and sucks hard. She rocks her hips into his in response, seeking friction where she needs it most. 

 

She lifts herself off him for a brief moment for him to slip his shorts and underwear just down enough to release his hard cock into the air, and he grasps her hips tightly. He pushes her soaked underwear aside and looks up at her face, his heart aching at the sudden flood of love that fills him to the very brim.

 

“Perfect. Look at me, sweetheart. I want to look into your eyes while I make love to you,” he says quietly to her, and her eyes snap to his instantly. 

 

She rests her forehead against his again, and his hands guide her hips over him, slowly sinking down onto his erection. A delectable moan escapes both their lips as they savour the feeling of finally being whole again. She pulses against him, her muscles undulating deliciously around his cock. The feeling of being stretched by him - of being filled and fucked by him - is something she can't ever describe satisfactorily. It's pleasure beyond words, love beyond the known universe and she wouldn't give it up for anything.

 

“So beautiful,” he continues whispering, his hands still guiding her hips over him.

 

It doesn't take long for her movements to quicken, both their breaths hitching at the sensation. Soon, she's riding him wildly and their eyed remain locked, transfixed as they watch each other's pleasure overtake them. 

 

He thrusts up as he pulls her down, her hips moving in that small, circular motion that makes him grit his teeth. After this he'll have her for supper, he knows - and maybe for a midnight snack too - but now he wants to make love to her. He wants her to know that all he has for her is just pure, unfiltered love.

 

So as she bounces up and down on top of him, their breaths mingling and their hands wandering their bodies hungrily, he leans up and catches her lips. He kisses her furiously, passionately, as he feels the pleasure cresting in his own body, and he thrusts harder and faster into her.

 

The resulting moan from her makes him smile against his lips, and he redoubles his efforts. He can feel her muscles clenching around him - she's close, and he is too. He makes a few hard thrusts, and he tilts his hips a little on the last one and they both shatter in a symphony of their pleasure.

 

“I'm sorry I distracted you from work,” she apologises, looking guiltily at him.

 

“No. Don't you dare apologise for that.” he whispers back, smiling reassuringly as his wife. “Sod work. I'm going to make love to you for as long as I can stand it.”

 

Her answering smile is bright and he feels it again - his chest filling with brightness and warmth and sweetness. He'll do anything to make her happy, and he hopes she knows it. 

 

“I love you so much.” she says softly to him, pushing his sweat soaked hair out of his face.

 

“I love you too, Kingston.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you going to eyefuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?”

The tension has been rising for months now - ever since they came back from Utah, actually. And now - now it's the wrap party for series 6, merely days after that delicious kiss that had him palming himself through his trousers for nearly three days in a row at just the memory of it alone - and he knows, looking at her from across the room, that it's going to happen tonight.

Whatever has been brewing between him and Alex, the tension is finally going to snap tonight.

He plays it cool. Even though the moment he saw her in that slinky black dress made him groan aloud, he manages not to stutter when he greets her. She looks at him through full eyelashes, her lips pouting and inviting, and he resists the urge to bite her bottom lip. God, she's the sexiest woman he's ever seen.

The party continues with barely an incident, though he watches her every move from the corner of his eye. He watches as she joins Karen and Arthur on the dance floor, her hips swaying and her dress dipping low across her back as she moves. Her hair catches the light and he swears he sees a halo - or maybe a crown of light. Either way, he knows he'll be spending time worshipping her this evening.

As the party progresses and the patrons get drunker, Alex heads towards him, her skin slicked with sweat and panting breathlessly from the extremely erotic dance she'd been doing with one of the ladies from hair and makeup. He swallows as she flashes a smile at him and orders a gin and tonic from the bartender. She hops onto a stool and scoots closer to him, their thighs almost touching as she leans in.

"Are you going to eyefuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?" she asks him, the tip of her finger circling the rim of her glass.

"Alex?" he asks hoarsely, feeling his pants tighten. If she means what he thinks - but she can't, right?

"You've been staring at me like you want to have me for dinner and keep the leftovers for breakfast." she tells him, a little quirk of her mouth betraying her amusement as she gives him a naughty little smirk. "And I'm getting quite tired of waiting for you to make the first move, Matt."

Matt stares at her for a moment, then he turns his stool slightly towards her, apparently deciding that she isn't joking at all. He reaches out and touches her thigh, covered in black cloth, and when she doesn't pull away, he pulls the smooth fabric up so he can feel her honey skin beneath his fingertips.

Her breath hitches just slightly, almost imperceptibly. His eyes darken impossibly after that, and he parts his knees, letting one of hers in between his legs, pressing against his erection.

"I've wanted you for so long, Alex." he whispers, his thumb stroking over her damp skin lightly. She lets out an involuntary shiver, seemingly at her wit's end after all those months of foreplay. "Do you want me too, hmm? I bet you do. I bet if I hiked up your dress and bent you over this counter right here I'd find your knickers soaked. Or are you even wearing knickers at all?"

She recovers brilliantly, her eyes blinking wide open and looking at him so sexily it's all he can do not to groan in frustration. "Why don't you find out?"

"Shit," he curses, removing his hand from her thigh, afraid that if he touches her any longer he won't be able to resist the urge to dive right under her skirt and finger her right there in front of everyone. "Flat?"

"Too far." she shakes her head. She takes his hand and stands, leaving their half empty drinks on the countertop.

He doesn't question her as she leads him through the crowded club, music pounding in their ears as people dance along to the music. She settles them in one of the dark corners, a small, empty booth available. She gestures for him to slide in first, and he goes without complaint.

She follows, and then she does something he hadn't anticipated - she sits on his lap. She bites her lip as she feels his erection between her thighs, groaning softly when she presses down on it.

" _ Jesus _ , Alex." he curses, hands going up to touch the bare skin of her back. He leans in closer to her and smells her perfume, mixed with sweat. It's a heady combination, and he can't help himself as he presses his lips to the side of her neck. "Fuck. I want you so badly."

She whimpers. "Oh, darling. I want you inside me. Did you bring a condom?" 

He blinks in surprise, looking up at her. "Here?" 

She bites her lip and nods excitedly. "We'll just have to be quiet."

He nods hurriedly, afraid that if he takes too much time she'll come to her senses and change her mind - there's no way he's letting that happen. He reaches into his pocket for his wallet and pulls out a condom packet, tearing it hurriedly as Alex scoots back on his lap to give him room to work. He unbuttons his trousers, fumbling only a little and reaches past his underwear to pull out his cock. Alex gazes at it hungrily as he rolls the condom on. 

Before he can even grab her hips, she moves back and sinks down on him in one fluid motion, making him grit his teeth at the sensations he's feeling.  _ Fuck _ , this feels better than any of his fantasies, and that was certainly saying something. Apparently it felt good for Alex too, because she hisses and bites down on her lip, her face contorted in the most erotic expression Matt has ever seen on any woman.

"Jesus Christ, Kingston." Matt whispers. "You're gonna kill me." 

"That would be a shame, darling," she whispers back, eyes still shut tight, "this feels ever so good." 

"Fuck," Matt curses, and as Alex starts rocking her hips just slightly, he swears his heartbeat triples. "You're so fucking sexy."

He leans in and licks the sweat off her neck, biting and sucking at her skin lightly. Her hands keep a vice like grip on his biceps, fingers curling into his sleeves, but he doesn't mind. He'll keep any marks that reminds him of the time he was inside Alex Kingston. 

He's vaguely aware of the party still going on around them - of the music still thumping in the background and the sound of his friends' voices blending together, the sound of glasses being set down on the countertops and heels clacking against the dance floor - but they all fade into a blur compared to Alex right in front of him. Alex, riding him slowly in a booth where anyone can turn to see them. Alex, moaning and panting softly, her eyes shut tight. Alex, in a silky black dress, her breasts pushed up against her chest magnificently and her cleavage exposed and - and  _ why _ hasn't he kissed her there yet?

He rectifies that immediately, pressing his lips to the valley between her breasts and smirking at the groan that she lets slip. His lips travel from the middle to the tops of her breasts, only slightly exposed because of the thick straps on her dress. Then, he presses his lips over the black cloth, his tongue searching for her nipple and sucking enthusiastically when he finds it, making her drop her head back in ecstasy. 

"Matt - shit, Matt - " she pants, starting to move faster now, bouncing slightly up and down on top of him, her eyes shut tight. 

Sensing that she's close, he places his lips at her ear and sucks in her earlobe. "You're so naughty, Alex. Fucking me in front of everyone here. What would happen if someone saw us and snapped a photo of you riding me like a little whore? Oh, but you like it, don't you? The thought of being caught? I know you do. When you had your hands on my thigh in Utah I just wanted to push you down and tear everything off and make you come against that blanket again and again. I didn't do it then but tonight - I'll make sure to do everything with you tonight, Alex. I'm going to make sure you  _ never _ forget how it feels to have my cock inside you."

She comes and he senses it, pressing his lips urgently to hers as she screams her orgasm into his mouth. Their first kiss is passionate, desperate, wanton - all tongues and teeth and lips, biting and sucking and tasting. Matt can't help himself - the sensations of her kiss and the feel of her muscles clenching around him sets him off, and he comes hard around her. 

She falls limply onto him and turns her face into his neck, panting softly as she rests. After a few moments she lifts her head again to look him in the eye, her own twinkling in the dim lights of the nightclub.

“We are  _ definitely _ doing that again."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Looks like we'll be trapped here for a while..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cuz cassie insisted i post one now

Alex Kingston is uncomfortable.

 

This is unusual for three very good reasons. Number one: she's been through enough in her life to not be phased by almost anything, no matter how awkward the situation may be. Number two: she's currently at work, in a setting she definitely hadn't anticipated would become uncomfortable for her, especially while surrounded by people she's known and missed for the past few months in her absence. Number three: she's usually the one making others feel uncomfortable.

 

But now she finds herself avoiding every private space she has on set - her trailer, that small spot behind one of the sets, the closet behind wardrobe where they keep all the lighting equipment - because of a date.

 

Or, more specifically, because of a date with Matthew Smith.

 

Alex blows a curl out of her face as she leans against a door, trying to keep out of sight from the cast and crew. God, it would be so embarrassing to have to answer their prying questions later on - _why_ did he have to ask her out publicly? And _why_ did she say yes?

 

 _You know exactly why you said yes, Alexandra_ , her traitorous mind taunts her, and she purses her lips at herself.

 

So maybe she had allowed herself to think of her co-star in more of a... _sexual_ light of late. So maybe he was the subject of many forbidden fantasies privy only to her mind in the late hours of many a sleepless nights. So maybe she'd allowed herself to become stupidly, irrationally attached to a version of him borne completely out of imagination - and brought those expectations to their first date last night.

 

So maybe, just maybe, their first date turned out to be a disaster.

 

"Has anyone seen Alex?"

 

"I haven't seen her since she left Wardrobe two hours ago."

 

"Damn it. Well, if you see her, tell her I'm looking for her, will you?"

 

"Of course, Mr Smith."

 

Alex feels her heart pounding in her chest as she hears Matt's voice again, followed by his footsteps getting closer and closer. Anxiety and panic claws at her heart as she looks around desperately for a hiding place, and she finds one almost immediately, presenting itself like a gift from the heavens. She swears she almost hears angels singing.

 

She tiptoes towards the prop Tardis that they keep on set, creeping in and closing the door behind her. Outside, she hears Matt approaching nearer and nearer, and she sits there, barely breathing for fear of discovery. Her heart is thumping so loudly against her chest she's almost sure he can hear it too-

 

"Alex?" Matt calls out.

 

She stays silent. God, she doesn't want to do this. It's embarrassing enough on its own that people know about their date - but to talk about it with her actual date is something else. She doesn't think she'll ever let go of the mortification for as long as she works on this show.

 

"I just wanna talk about yesterday. Alex?"

 

She shuts her eyes in an effort to make herself invisible even though she knows no one can see her. It comforts her somehow. But as she breathes quietly the dust in the box tickles her nose and she tries to repress it, makes her face red as she tries to quash it down but it doesn't work because-

 

"A-choo!"

 

 _Dammit, Alex_.

 

"Alex? Was that you?" The once receding footsteps are approaching again and Alex wants so badly for the ground to open up below her. He knocks on the door. "Are you - are you hiding in the prop Tardis?"

 

He opens the door wearing an amused expression on his face and raises his eyebrows at her. She only offers up a small smile.

 

"Hi." she says.

 

"Hi. I've been looking all over for you." His expression turns serious but hopeful. "Can we talk? I promise it won't take long."

 

"I... guess I don't have much of a choice, since you have me cornered and everything." she says lightly. She gestures towards the box. "Come in."

 

Matt raises his eyebrows higher than she's ever seen them go. "In there? Couldn't we just... talk out here?"

 

"I'd really prefer it if we weren't overheard."

 

He shrugs. "Suit yourself."

 

He manages to squeeze himself into the box, facing Alex and leaning against the opposite wall. There's only a small beam of light flying through a thin line at the top of the box, but he can see her just fine. And he can tell she isn't liking where this is going.

 

"So... we should talk." he starts.

 

"Yes."

 

"About yesterday."

 

"Yes."

 

"I know it was a bit of a... rough start," he decides, and Alex cringes at the memory. It had been plainly awkward between them - she hasn't gone on blind dates that were filled with that kind of tension, honestly. "I'm hoping that it won't affect what we have at work, and as friends."

 

"No, of course not." Alex says, feeling a comforting smile warm her face.

 

"Really?" he asks dubiously. "Because I've been trying to talk to you for the past two hours and I find you in here literally hiding from me."

 

She blanches, fidgeting a little before taking a deep breath. "Okay. I'll try my best not to let it affect our friendship."

 

He nods. "Just because it didn't work out between us doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"

 

She nods too. "Right."

 

"Okay, good. That's settled, then." he turns towards the door and makes to leave, but as he turns the handle he hears a loud click. "Shit."

 

He jiggles the lock but it won't budge. He slams his shoulder against the door but without the leverage of distance he doesn't make much of a headway.

 

He turns to Alex, whose eyes are wide as saucers.

 

"Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..."

 

***

 

A phone call to maintenance and props and one minor panic attack on Alex's part later, they're both leaning against opposite walls, facing each other. Alex is determinedly not looking at him and he feels a sort of sad, lonely feeling in his heart - because he likes Alex. More than that, he adores her. As a colleague, and as a friend, and before last night, as something more too - but clearly he'd destroyed any chance he had with her before he even properly had a chance with her, and that ship has sailed.

 

He laughs dryly at the look on her face. "Don't worry, Kingston. As soon as we get out of here I promise you won't have to look at me. Not for another few hours, at least."

 

Alex frowns, but he can't find the heart in him to look away because she's finally looking at him instead of the floor.

 

"What - why would you say that?" she asks softly, because something in the tone of his voice - something in the way he dejectedly said it, even if it was meant as a joke - something about that tells Alex that maybe he really does mean it.

 

"I know, even if you say otherwise, that things won't ever be the same between us. They'll always be tainted by yesterday." he says, shrugging a little, determined to act nonchalant about it. "And that's okay, Kingston. It really is. Things between us will change after something like that, and even though it isn't how I hoped it would change, it is what it is."

 

Alex nods. "Yeah."

 

He nods too. "Yeah."

 

"But that doesn't mean I won't want to see you anymore," Alex says. "You're still a friend, Matt - and even though things are a little shaky now, I'm sure we'll be back to normal in no time."

 

Matt smiles sadly at her. "I hope so."

 

Alex's frown deepens. "Why won't things go back to normal?"

 

Matt pauses, running a hand through his hair and breathing deeply. "I'm just... not sure how I can expect myself to see you every day and greet you like a friend knowing I screwed my chance to be something more for you."

 

She laughs, though there really isn't anything funny about what he said. "We both made mistakes last night, Matt."

 

"Oh? Like when you admitted that you've thought about shagging me almost nightly?" he asks. She feels her cheeks heat up but a distinct glint remains in her eye.

 

Determined not to be outdone, she bites back, "Or when you told the waiter you wouldn't be having any of the chicken breast because _I have enough of that_."

 

Matt outright laughs at that, and Alex feels the tension lifting between them already. It feels nice to joke about like this. "Or when neither of us could find anything to talk about so we just started talking about the weather."

 

She snorts at that one, wondering how they ever made it through the night like that. "Or when you spilled wine down my dress."

 

"Hey!" Matt exclaims, looking affronted. "You said you wouldn't hold that against me!"

 

"It seemed appropriate," she shrugs, a small smile still playing on her lips as she sighs easily and leans against the wall again, her head falling back softly. "Why did we ever think going out would be a good idea?"

 

He watches her carefully, his eyes tracing around every detail before he sighs too. "Because we like each other."

 

She smiles at him. "Yeah, we do."

 

"I was trying so hard to impress you yesterday," he admits, chuckling lightly. "I forgot to just be myself. I didn't want to be like all the other blokes you go out with."

 

"Well, you weren't, I promise you that." she says, with a twinkle in her eye. "I brought too many of my fantasies along with me."

 

"Do you think... maybe, if we tried again - without the fantasies and trying too hard - do you think we could do it?"

 

She lifts herself up a bit, frowning at him. "Are you really asking me out on a date again? After yesterday?"

 

He shrugs, his ears a little red and looking so innocent and sweet in that tweed jacket and the bow tie. "I really do like you, Kingston. And by all accounts, we haven't really given it a proper shot, have we? Since I wasn't really being myself and all."

 

He fidgets a little and his face catches the beam of light. Alex blinks and she sees the sincerity etched onto him, clear as cloudless skies, and she feels the bit of trepidation melt away the longer she stares into him.

 

"I really do like you, too." she says softly. He beams up at her and she can't help the smile that lights up her face in response. "So dinner tonight? I'll cook and you bring dessert?"

 

"Tonight?" Mild panic flows through him and his mind races with fancy dessert places and pastries before he tells himself to _breathe, Smith - this is exactly where you went wrong yesterday._ "Tonight is good. At 8?"

 

She nods. "Good, that's settled then. There's something else."

 

"What?"

 

She smiles and reaches up, her hand curling around the back of his neck and pulling him down towards her. The last thing he sees is Alex's gorgeous grin before their lips meet.

 

And then he sees stars.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i see the way you look at me when you think i don't notice."

Alex should've known it was a bad idea. 

 

The tension between them could be cut with a knife. It certainly didn't help that Karen and Arthur had the afternoon off - the only buffers available were the crew, and how was she supposed to avoid Matt when all her scenes are with him?

 

She glances up at him just as he looks away from her, and her jaw tightens as her eyes trace his figure. None of this is fair. It hadn't been her  _ fault _ \- he hadn't even told her, or mentioned anything about it - heck, the entire time they'd went out yesterday he hadn't said a word about it being a  _ date _ \- 

 

Releasing an air of frustration, she steps on her mark again, trying to remember her lines and how the scene is supposed to be played out. Normally, she'd be using this time to rehearse with Matt, but last night they'd left things with a slightly less friendly air between them. The awkward tension is seeping into their work and causing a simple scene to be delayed.

 

"Alright, on your markers, everyone." the director calls out. "And - action!"

 

Matt looks at her with dark eyes and a naughty grin, flirty words flowing from his mouth. Alex responds easily, turning up the confidence that playing someone as sassy as River always gave her. He whispers to her, softly, his eyes focused on her mouth and his hand tracing her cheekbone lightly. 

 

Knowing this isn't part of the script, she leans into his touch anyway, because - while mortified that she'd been on an actual date with someone as young as him - some part of her just wants him. He leans in, about to kiss her, and she becomes vaguely aware that this isn't part of the script, either - before his lips touches hers and she gives in, kissing him back hungrily. 

 

"Cut!" the director shouts into the megaphone, and Alex jumps away from Matt, red cheeked and looking at the floor. "What was that?"

 

"A little - improvisation - " Matt stammers apologetically, and Alex shuts her eyes tight. 

 

"We do not have time for improvisations, Mr Smith. Stick to the script for this scene. Are we clear?" 

 

"Crystal."

 

The director runs a hand down his face, looking both impatient and frustrated. "Take a ten minute break. Kingston, Smith, whatever is causing that tension, sort it out."

 

The room is cleared out and they're the only ones left on set, and Matt clears his throat awkwardly. 

 

"I'm sorry," he apologises. "I - shouldn't have kissed you like that without warning."

 

"It's alright. I quite enjoyed it, actually." she says flirtatiously, hoping to bring back their banter. But Matt gives a tight smile and looks down at his shoes instead.

 

"I thought - I thought you felt the same way," he says honestly, looking up at her. "About me as I did about you, I mean."

 

"Matt, I don't - "

 

"I've seen the way you look at me, you know." he says, shrugging a little. "When you think I don't notice. And - and I thought for a second there, that there might be a chance between us. But I guess I read it all wrong. I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to storm off yesterday."

 

"It's alright," she assures him, sighing slightly. "I just - when you said it was a date, I panicked. I thought you were joking, honestly. But when I saw your face, I iust -" she shakes her head. "My divorce just got finalised, Matt. I'm not ready for something serious again."

 

"I understand." He nods, smiling sadly at her. "I really do like you, Kingston. It wasn't a joke."

 

She nods in acknowledgement and smiles softly at him. "If I'm being honest - I do like you too. More than I should."

 

His face lights up at that, and he reaches out tentatively to take her hand in his. When she doesn't pull away, he cradles her hand in his and brings it to his lips.

 

"I know you said you aren't ready for anything serious," he starts. "But what do you say to me - um - convincing you?"

 

Her eyes sparkle in amusement. "Why, Mr Smith, are you asking for permission to court me? How gentlemanly."

 

He chuckles good-naturedly, but his eyes reveal the hope and sincerity that he really does want her - he's taking this seriously. "I suppose I am, Ms Kingston."

 

She takes a moment to think about it - a charming, handsome young man looking to sweep her off her feet sounds just about what she needs after her previous disastrous attempts at love. Maybe, just for once, she should relinquish the reins and let fate take its course. 

 

She steps closer to him and presses a chaste kiss to his lips, surprising him. 

 

"Now how can I say no to that?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: “oh god, how are you still so tight?”
> 
> warning for anal sex!!!!

Matt’s smile widens as he kicks the front door of the flat shut. He drops his bag by the door and takes his shoes off, throwing his socks into the hamper sitting at the corner of the room.

He’s been battling the arousal building inside him all day at work. Alex hadn’t shown any mercy with the pictures she’d sent, and he’d even had to take a break in the middle of shooting to find a quiet corner to wank to the photo of her naked body. 

He hears movement from one of the bedrooms and smiles, knowing that Alex knows that he’s back. Ever since they’d started experimenting in the bedroom - and occasionally, outside the bedroom - things had taken a turn in their relationship. In a good way. 

If he’d thought that Alex was giving and generous before, he had no words to describe how she was now. Her passion and love for him knew no boundaries and while he tried to give her everything, he was very conscious of the fact that he doesn’t deserve her.

It had developed quite naturally - both of them were very comfortable around one another, already used to the natural rhythm of how they worked. But one day he’d suggested trying a new position that he read about on one of his magazines - and when that had been a success, he’d tried suggesting more and more. There were some bumps in the road, as they anticipated, but they always bounced back quickly, with something else to try.

New positions escalated to experimenting with certain items in their bedroom - handcuffs, whips, paddles and even something called ‘scream cream’. They’d taken in turns donning the handcuffs while the other took hold of their instrument of choice and they both found that they quite liked it. Both times.

By then, Alex had started doing her own research, finding new things to try. They had toyed with the idea of having a threesome or going to a sex club together, but neither of those ideas came to fruition - both of them had admitted to being easily possessive and jealous, and that really wasn’t the ideal personality type for trying either of those things. 

But then one night, after a particularly satisfying round (in which he’d been the one handcuffed and tied up), she’d stroked his hair tenderly out of his eyes and quietly asked if he would enjoy trying anal sex. His eyebrows had shot up his forehead and his eyes had widened in surprise that she bit her lip nervously, wondering if maybe Matt wasn’t the type after all.

But after a few serious conversations about whether or not she was doing this because she felt like she had to please him, or whether it was something she genuinely wanted to do, Matt had agreed. Quite enthusiastically, much to her amusement.

The first time was heaven. They’d needed a substantial amount of lube to push through but it was worth it, because it was glorious. Pleasure coursing through his body like he’d never known before. And when it became clear that Alex wasn’t in pain and was thoroughly enjoying the experience, it couldn’t be helped. He’d fucked her arse hard and fast, over the vanity while staring at her lust-filled face in the mirror. The second time, after he’d recovered, had been tender and slow, on the bed with his arms around her waist and whispering words of love and devotion into her ear.

Since then, they’d peppered it into their daily routine. Finding it incredibly inconvenient for them to stop and search around for lube, Alex had taken to finding smart hiding places all over the house to store it in. 

It’s only been a week since then, but he feels like he’s on top of the world. Alex is just perfect all around, even more so outside the bedroom. He loves her more than anything - he can’t imagine his life without her and he plans to keep it that way. Soon, he promises himself, he’ll make use of the ring he bought that’s sitting just out of sight in his side of the closet. 

His phone pings in his pocket and he digs it out to find another text from Alex. It’s a picture of her bum, fully exposed (he’s left wondering for a few seconds how she’d managed to take the picture), with her hands pulling her cheeks apart and revealing something dark sitting snugly in the small hole.

“Fuck,” he swears, and he throws his phone onto the couch and practically runs into their bedroom, shirt half unbuttoned. 

He finds Alex naked with her cheek pressed to the bed, her arse high in the air and a naughty smile on her face.

“Welcome home, darling.” She says softly, her low and sultry voice washing over him like holy water.

He feels the cadence of her voice go straight to his cock and he almost groans aloud. He settles for staring at her in wonder, his fingers moving on autopilot and unbuttoning the shirt fully, throwing it down onto the floor carelessly. He unbuckles his belt and undoes the button on his trousers, pushing that and his boxers down onto the floor and stepping out of them. 

He licks his lips almost unconsciously, his eyes hungry for her. After staring at pictures of her the entire day it feels gratifying to finally be able to look at her in real life - pictures just can’t do her beauty justice. 

“You bought something today,” he says, the question obvious in his voice. “You didn’t tell me.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” she replies, feeling the bed dip as he places one knee on the mattress. She shivers when she feels his warm hands caress the soft skin of her arse tenderly. “I’ve been wearing it all day to get ready for you.”

His eyes darkens even further as he places each hand gently on her two cheeks and pushes them apart, revealing the toy inside her. One of her hands brush his knee lightly and he looks down to see her holding a bottle of lube.

“Good girl,” he breathes, and he feels her flushing pleasantly at the praise. “What a good girl you are, my Alex.”

He lubricates himself sufficiently before licking his lips, feeling excitement and tension flow through him as it always does before he fucks Alex. He takes a hold of the little toy still inside her and pulls it out gently, as Alex lets a small breathy moan escape her lips. 

“Butt plug,” he whispers, identifying the toy. He places it down on the bed beside him and bends to kiss her back sweetly. “I love you so much. You are perfect. You make me so happy, sweetheart.”

“Darling,” she whispers, turning around to face him. He leans forward to press a lingering kiss to her lips and pulls back. “Anything for you.”

He bends down to kiss her neck and grasp her hair, tugging her  head gently to the side to allow access. “I’ll do anything for you too, you know,” he whispers, in between mouthing at her skin, “whatever you want me to do. Anything. Everything.”

“Just fuck me,” she whispers back, a pleading note in her voice. “Please, darling, I’ve been on the edge for so long - I need you to - please, Matt.”

He pulls back slowly and grasps himself in his hand, steadying her hips in front of him. He aligns himself carefully and pushes in slowly, surprised at how hard it is still to bury himself fully inside her.

“Oh God - how are you still so tight?” He asks desperately, pulling out with just half of him inside her and pushing back in, harder this time. “Fuck, you feel so amazing around my cock baby, I -  _ fuck _ -”

“You feel so good there, darling,” she moans, throwing her head back. It feels almost painful having to stay still when all she wants to do is fuck him wildly, but she knows that Matt will get to it when he’s able to. “Please, darling, I need you to fuck me hard, please - you can make love to me later, sweetie, right now I need you to -”

Her words are lost in her throat when he pulls back out and slams deeper into her again, and she gasps for air as she bites her lip hard. He swears again and places his hands on her hips, letting them travel up and down her sides. 

“Fuck, I wish there were two of you right now,” she whispers breathlessly into the air, as he thrusts his cock deeper and deeper into her arse. “I want to feel you inside my cunt too.”

“Jesus, Alex,” he swears, and he slams the entirety of his length into her, making her cry out in pleasure. “We’ll use your rabbit next time, okay?”

She nods enthusiastically as he pulls out slowly. Tired of the slow pace, she leans her weight on her elbows and starts grinding her hips back into his, making him hiss in pleasure as his eyes shut tight. His grip on her hips are white-knuckled but she doesn’t give a damn how many bruises he leaves on her body because it feels so fucking good and she doesn’t ever want to stop.

“Alex!” Matt cries out as she fucks him roughly. “Fuck, Alex - I - ”

He seems to regain his senses quickly, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling her upper body against his. His hips move even harder against her, his hands finding her left nipple and her clit, flicking them simultaneously as a throat-wrenching cry leaves Alex’s body.

He feels her tense up, her rectal muscles working vigorously around his shaft and he knows she’s close, so close - and if he rubs her clit just right as he thrusts hard into her-

She comes with a scream, heaving and panting from the exertion, and he fucks her harder and harder, his vision blurring around the edges as he feels her tightening around him. God, he wishes he could stay here forever - pleasuring Alex into orgasm after orgasm, his cock buried deep inside her arse, his fingers slipping across her wet and swollen clit, dipping into the soaked flesh between her legs. Fuck, everything about this is just absolutely fucking perfect and he doesn’t ever want it to end.

But the pleasure crests inside him and he feels himself being pushed over the edge, his vision blurring altogether as he thrusts wildly, and he collapses onto her with the force of his orgasm.

Taking in deep breaths as he rolls off her and making sure she wasn’t hurt by his weight, he reaches out and wraps his arms around her sweat-slicked body.

“You make me so happy,” he tells her again, his voice gravelly. “What did I do to deserve you, Kingston?”

The devotion in his voice is so very clear and she brings her hand up to his face, stroking her thumb over his cheekbone softly. 

“I just want to make you feel the same way you make me feel,” she whispers back, the loving look in her eyes making his heart full. “I love you so much, Matt.”

Tomorrow, Matt decides. He’ll ask her to marry him tomorrow.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: “I’d forgotten how you taste.”

They hadn’t ended on good terms.

 

There was screaming and shouting and chucking an alarm clock at his head; there were bitter words and heat-of-the-moment statements that they regretted saying almost as soon as it left their mouths; the fight had been emotional, physical, and in the end, they couldn’t look at each other anymore - she just packed up her bags and left. He hadn’t said a word.

 

That was eight months ago. 

 

Since then, there have been rumours. Neither of them were seen out together again, and the tabloids speculated a breakup kept under wraps. It was mostly because they were always in different continents - she was in Africa while he was in the UK, he was in the US when she went back to the UK -and they hadn’t been papped in a record amount of time. 

 

It was only when the last day of her play came around - Matt was spotted in the front row of the audience, beaming up at her in an excited fashion, ignoring the whispers surrounding him. He was entirely too used to it. 

 

She didn’t come out to greet the fans that day - unusual, since she was known for doing that. Add that to the fact that it was the last show of her play, and the theories were buzzing around the fans merely hours after the show ended. 

 

In her dressing room, Matt hands her a bouquet of flowers and presents her with fresh cupcakes - store bought, of course. Lord knows what would happen if he tried to make these from scratch. 

 

“Thank you, darling,” she says softly, her smile bright and grateful as she places the gifts down on her vanity. “I didn’t expect to see you until next week.”

 

Matt scratches his cheek. “I know, I - it was supposed to be a surprise.” His ears reddened and he looks at the floor, suddenly bashful. “I know it’s awfully presumptuous of me, but -” 

 

“No, I -” Alex starts, cutting herself off before she says the wrong thing. “It’s really nice to see you, Matt.”

 

“You too, sweetheart.” he says softly, his tone warm and tender, and she almost tears up at it. She’s missed him so much that her heart had ached for the entire time they were separated and now he’s here and she can hardly believe it.

 

She remembers the phone call, about a month after their awful fight, and how he’d sounded.

 

_ “Hello?”  _

 

_ “Kingston,” Matt says in surprise. _

 

_ “That is who you wanted to call right?” she asks after a few moments of silence to try and release the tension. _

 

_ “I - I wasn’t sure you’d pick up.” he explains.  _

 

_ “But you called anyway,” she points out. _

 

_ “Yeah,” he says. She hears him take a deep breath at the other end of the line. “Alex, I - please come back. Please. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said that night, I was so angry and scared that I was going to lose you and - and now I lost you anyway.” _

 

_ “Darling,” she whispers back tearfully. “I’m sorry too. I - I didn’t mean it. I know who you are, Matt. And I know you’d never cheat on me. I’m sorry.” _

 

_ “Forgiven,” he says immediately, and Alex breathes in shakily, wiping away a single stray tear from her cheek. “I was a prick to you. You didn’t deserve that - you had every right to throw that clock at me. But you need to know that I - I didn’t mean it, Alex. Not a single word. I’m - I could never be ashamed of being seen with you, understand?” _

 

_ Alex bows her head and sniffs. “I know,” she says, but her voice is shaky and even though he can’t see her face he can tell by her tone that she isn’t entirely convinced of his sincerity. _

 

_ “I don’t care that you’re older than me. I think it’s brilliant that you’re older than me,” he insists. “And maybe two years ago I’d show you off to everyone in the world but - but I’m not that anymore. I don’t want to do that anymore - I don’t want to parade the woman I love around like a trophy. You’re so much more than that, Alex.” he pauses, then he adds quickly, “Not that other women are trophies - just that I only care about you. No, that came out wrong. I meant -” _

 

_ “I know what you meant, Matt.” she manages a tearful laugh, and he smiles at the sound. “And I understand. But sometimes, it feels like - like you don’t want me around your friends because you’re embarrassed. I don’t want to be with someone who’s embarrassed of me.” _

 

_ “That’s perfect, because I don’t want to be with someone I’m embarrassed of.” he replies. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean it, honest. I’ve been trying to call you for a month to explain, but -” _

 

_ “I needed time to think,” she explains quickly. “I needed to think about what I really wanted, and if it was worth it.” _

 

_ “Is it?” he asks softly. “Am I?” _

 

_ She smiles. “So worth it.” she answers, and he breathes out a sigh of relief. “I love you, Matt.” _

 

_ “I love you too, Kingston.” _

 

That was seven months ago. After that, they talked whenever they could but their schedules never aligned - a source of frequent frustration for both of them. They were constantly travelling; one of them would land in LA and the other would be on a flight back to Europe. They didn’t meet the entire time, but they called each other whenever they could and managed to never go a day without hearing each other’s voices on the phone. 

 

“I missed you so much,” he says softly, smiling at her almost shyly. He wants to kiss her and hug her and touch her so badly, but he doesn’t know how welcome he is just yet. Though they talked daily they never had a proper reconciliation from that fight, and he’s unsure how much it stings for her if it still does. “You were amazing on stage.”

 

“Thank you,” she says. They stand there, awkwardly fiddling with their hands and waiting for the other to make the first move. Eventually, she says, “Fuck it,” and rushes up to him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down for a searing kiss.

 

Tears burn at his eyes as he presses his mouth insistently to hers, kissing her with such force that he bends her back slightly. She throws her arms around his neck and hooks a leg around his waist. He lifts her off the ground and his hand feels for her other leg, grabbing her thigh and wrapping it around his waist too. 

 

He stumbles across the dressing room, their mouths still connected, and places her on the vanity, finally pulling away from her. Her lips are red and bruising from their kiss but he doesn’t care - some primal urge has taken over him, and all he can see is her naked beneath him as he thrusts into her. He can tell that the same lust has taken over her, too - her eyes are darkened as she looks over him suggestively, and her hands have moves from his neck down to stroke his crotch.

 

“What do you want me to do to you, sweetheart?” he asks, leaning in to bite her lips again. She lets her head fall back against the vanity mirror to look up at him, the corners of her lips turning up into a smile - Alex always did love dirty talk. “You have to tell me. Do you want me to turn you around, fuck your pretty arse? Should I make you watch yourself cum in the mirror? Or should I fuck you against that door over there, make sure everyone outside knows what you’re doing in here. I can make you scream my name and everyone will know what a dirty little slut you are, love.”

 

“Matt, oh God,” she moans.

 

“Strip.” he orders, and he steps back so she has space to move around. 

 

She starts with her button up, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth in concentration as she tries to undo the buttons with slightly shaking hands. Once she’s done, she peels it off her back and throws it aside. She makes quick work of her bra and it goes in the direction of her shirt, too. 

 

She hops off the table and turns, and she slides the skirt down, leaving her arse in the air - he’s tempted to undo his jeans and fuck her right there, with her in that position. He swallows hard and feels his jeans tighten even further - and she does a little shimmy movement with her knickers and she’s bare in front of him for the first time in eight months, and he can smell her arousal as he steps closer, and fuck if he doesn’t taste her now he’ll explode.

 

“Sit on the table and spread your legs.” he orders her, and like a good girl she obeys, sitting and spreading her knees as far as they can go. He sees glistening flesh and pink folds and he almost comes in his pants, but before he can he stumbles towards her and drops to his knees. “Dinner looks delicious, love.”

 

He opens his mouth and devours her immediately, his tongue licking a stripe up her folds. He buries his face as far as he can go between her legs, his nose nudging her clit and driving his tongue into her as deeply as possible. His arms come up to circle around her thighs, holding them in place as she starts to squirm, squeals of pleasure falling from her mouth. 

 

She’s holding on to the edge of the mirror, her hands behind her head, and she’s panting and moaning and whimpering as he has his fill of her. God, she’s missed this - she almost forgot how good he is with his tongue. 

 

“Come on, sweetheart, cum for me, love.” he whispers to her, sucking at her clit roughly. “Look how wet you are for me. I want you to cum, sweetheart. I want to finish my meal.”

 

She comes with a cry of his name and he sucks in deeply as a gush of wetness floods his mouth. He continues sucking and licking as she lays limply against the mirror, small aftershocks going through her body every time his tongue makes contact with her clit. 

 

He stands once he’s satisfied, the tent in his trousers more prominent now. “I’d forgotten how you taste. Absolutely lovely. I’ll be dining here again.”

 

A small smile reluctantly spreads across her face. “Oh, shut up. That was awful.”

 

“You certainly didn’t think so when I did that thing with my tongue -” she hits his arm hard as he chuckles. Then she starts unbuttoning his jeans and the atmosphere changes quite abruptly. “Not satisfied, dear?”

 

“We have eight months’ worth of sex to catch up on. I won’t be satisfied for quite a while.”

 

“Is that a promise?” he asks seriously. She kisses him hard enough to bruise as an answer. “What do you want me to do, ma’am.”

 

“I want you to take me right here. Put your cock inside me and cum inside me too. I want you to fuck me like I’m your special little slut. I want to feel empty when you pull out. Can you do that to me, Matt?”

 

“Alex,” he groans, undressing quickly as she smirks at him and spreads her legs again - God, he can’t wait for the third time she spreads her legs for him. There’ll be a hint of white among her folds - a hint of him among her. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll scream.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that,” she says smartly. 

 

He takes himself in his hand and aligns himself at her entrance, pushing into her in one long stroke. He groans at the feel of her pulsing around him, silky wet and hot. She moans at the feeling of being filled by his cock, something she’s been fantasizing about for a good portion of their separation - it’s so much better than she remembers.

 

He pulls out and slams into her again, the rough wood hitting his knees painfully but it doesn’t matter - nothing else matters except for Alex, and the way she sounds when he’s pounding into her like his life depends on it. They’re both making so much noise and he knows that the others outside are definitely aware of what they’re doing in here, but Alex feels so fucking good and he can’t find it in himself to care. 

 

She’s pulsing and clenching around his cock and he fucks her so hard that she’s shaking, and he can tell that she’s coming - hard. Her breasts bounce as he thrusts into her and he bends down, taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking and pulling at it roughly, determined to set her off because he’s so fucking close.

 

“Matt, cum inside me - I want to feel your cock pulsing inside me - fuck!” she shouts, and he can’t hold on anymore.

 

He thrusts four more times and cums inside her, his cock fully seated inside her cunt. She trembles and shivers as she screams her release into the air and they collapse down onto the vanity together.

 

“I have to go for the cast party,” she says quietly, panting.

 

“If you think I’m letting you walk out of here without fucking you on every single surface then you’re wrong, sweetheart.” he says seriously, looking down at her.

 

She smiles faintly. “That’s what I hoped you’d say.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t look at me like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very very short. sorry :)

They’re fighting. For the first time, ever. 

 

It had started out of nowhere. Alex giving him the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, and him wanting to figure out  _ why _ , and approaching her, and then - this.

 

“No, stop it, Matt -” she starts desperately.

 

“I’m not even doing anything!” He almost shouts, frustrated.

 

“No, stop -  _ don’t _ look at me like that!” She shouts back, tears in her eyes as she looks away. “Don’t - I can’t -”

 

“Like what, Alex?” He asks softly, shocked. She shakes her head, refusing to answer, but he grabs her shoulder and forces her to meet his eyes. “Like what, Alex?”

 

“Like you want me,” she says softly, after a few moments of silence. “I can’t handle it, not after - I swore off actors once, and here you are, charming and handsome and - and  _ irresistible _ , and I  _ know _ it sounds stupid because you flirt with  _ everyone _ and -”

 

He cuts her off with a kiss. He cups her face in his hands and kisses her tenderly, lovingly, his lips moving softly over hers and groaning slightly as her tongue strokes over his lightly. 

 

When they break apart, she’s staring wide-eyed at him, and he smiles down at her.

 

“I thought you’d never notice, sweetheart.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Extensive talking during foreplay/sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very M for smut. you’ve been warned!

It had started out innocently enough. He’d overheard Alex saying to Karen - “I’m just not the beautiful kind like you are, Karen.” - and for some reason that had stuck in his head since he heard it. Was she just saying that to reassure Karen? Or did she really believe it?  _ Not the beautiful kind? _ What the hell did that mean?

 

And when he throws open the door to their apartment and sees her pottering about in the kitchen, he has to believe that she doesn’t really think like that, because how in the world could she think that she isn’t the beautiful kind when she looks absolutely  _ gorgeous _ in nothing but her nightgown, her hair tied up in a bun with messy tendrils framing her face. 

 

She turns and sees him, her face lighting up instantly. “Hi, dar -”

 

“Do you really think you’re not beautiful?” He blurts out immediately.

 

There’s a little stunned silence, and when she finally responds there’s a little trepidation in her voice, as if she doesn’t know if she wants to have this conversation with him. 

 

“What?’ She asks him.

 

“Do you - do you really think you’re not beautiful?” He asks, his voice softer and calmer now, but his eyes intensely gazing at her. 

 

She doesn’t answer. “What makes you think that?”

 

“I’m just - I heard you, talking to Karen.” He tells her quickly. “But you didn’t answer my question. Do you really think that?”

 

“Matt, I - I’m just - ”

 

“Because you  _ are _ .” He tells her fiercely, tucking her hair behind her ear and tracing her jaw lightly with his finger. “You are  _ so  _ beautiful, Alex - the most beautiful.”

 

Alex lets out a small chuckle. “Well, now I know you’re lying to me.”

 

Matt shakes his head vehemently. “No, I’m not. You  _ are _ . And I’ll prove it to you, right here if I have to.”

 

He stoops to kiss her softly, capturing her lips in a tender, gentle kiss. His lips move down to her chin, jaw and neck, nipping slightly at her skin as he pushes the strap of her nightgown down her shoulder. 

 

“You are stunning,” he whispers against her skin, and she looks down at him with tears in her eyes. “Every time I look at you, I - I can’t believe you’re with me. That you could choose anyone and - and you chose  _ me _ . Because you’re  _ so _ out of my league, Alex, I -”

 

“Don’t be daft, darling.” She sniffles a little, laughing. 

 

“I’m not,” he says seriously. “I’m being honest. You have a beautiful body, and I’m the one who gets to touch you. Do you have any idea how many people would kill for a chance to touch you like this? You are  _ so _ beautiful, Alex, please believe me.”

 

He stands up fully and pushes her gently against the kitchen counter, kissing her passionately and lifting her up to sit on it. She still looks a little unsure, looking hesitantly up at him as he pulls back, and his heart breaks at the expression on her face. How could she not believe him?

 

He lifts the nightgown over her head and presses his forehead to hers, hazel eyes poring into her blue-green ones. 

 

“I love you,” he whispers to her. “I would never lie to you.”

 

His hands travel up and down her arms, tracing her dainty shoulders and palming her ample breasts, his breathing growing heavy as he plays with her nipples. His fingers move slowly down her stomach - it isn’t flat or toned, but it’s part of her and so it’s beautiful too. 

 

Hi hands move to his pants, undoing his trousers quickly and pushing them down just enough. He wraps her legs around his waist and nudges his nose with hers.

 

“Please believe me, sweetheart,” he whispers to her, as he pushes inside of her slowly. As he starts moving, he talks to her in an almost awestruck voice. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Alex. On the inside and out. Do you have any idea how special that is? How rare? I love you so much - you are  _ gorgeous _ , the loveliest woman alive - there isn’t a soul as enchanting as yours.”

 

“Darling,” she whimpers, her hands grabbing onto his shoulders as she feels him moving in and out inside her. “Matt, I -”

 

“Please believe me,” he pleads again.

 

His hips start moving faster and faster against hers, both their breathing growing faster and faster in time. She presses a kiss to his eyelids, and rests her head against his shoulder as they move together, shutting her eyes tight as she feels her release approaching.

 

His hips jerk against hers as he cums and she follows him soon after, crying out softly and a tear escaping her eye as she remembers everything he said to her.

 

“Believe me,” he says again breathlessly, panting against her hair. 

 

She pulls away from him, closing her eyes slowly and resting her forehead against his chin. 

 

“It’s just - ever since my first marriage - it’s hard,” she confesses. “It’s hard to think of myself as beautiful once something like that has happened to me.”

 

“Take it from me, Alex - from someone who actually loves you -  _ you are beautiful _ .” He says sincerely to her.

 

“I - I just can’t - it’s been decades, darling.” She says, sighing softly. “I can’t just - just change how I feel about myself overnight.”

 

“I know,” he sighs. “But please - please, never say that about yourself again. Don’t ever say that you aren’t beautiful.”

 

She nods, gripping onto him tightly. “I love you, darling.”

 

He kisses her cheek softly. “I love you too, sweetheart.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

He’s starting to get worried. She promised that she’ll be there almost an hour ago and Alex isn’t the type to break promises, or be late in general. 

 

Matt sweeps the room with his eyes once more, asking around if anyone has seen her, but every person he asks shakes their head. Even Steven hasn’t seen her, and since he’s the host of the party, Alex would most likely come to him before anyone else.

 

He checks his phone again, wondering if he should call. He’s already texted a bunch of times and left a voicemail, and she still hasn’t answered. She’s either still driving, or - or something has happened to her. Matt shivers at the thought.

 

Just then, his phone rings and with a sigh of relief, he sees Alex’s name flash across his screen.

 

“Kingston! I was getting worried! Where are you?” He says, excited to see her again. 

 

“Hi, darling! I’m so sorry I didn’t answer - I was driving. But I have a little… problem.” She trails off, and he raises his eyebrows.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice full of concern. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, darling, it’s just - oh, it’s silly. My car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I had to walk ages to even get service and - ”

 

Without hesitation, Matt starts towards the front door to find his coat. “Where are you? Text me your address.”

 

“Oh, it’s no problem, Matt, I can just get a taxi - ” she protests, but he cuts her off almost immediately.

 

“Stay there. I’m coming to get you.” He says firmly, putting on his coat hurriedly. “Text me the street, Alex.”

 

He hangs up before he can protest any further.

 

His drive is a bit of a frenzy, half panic at the thought of Alex all alone at night in a strange town wearing a party dress, and half excitement at seeing her again after a month. He gets to her location in forty-five minutes, which is really worrisome considering the GPS had said that it would take an hour and fifteen minutes, but he doesn’t care. Every minute driving is another minute that Alex is alone. 

 

He sees her standing by the street, wrapped in a thin shawl and shivering slightly. Eyes widening, he almost trips as he gets out of the car to wrap her up in his coat, holding her against him for body warmth. 

 

He presses a kiss to her hair as he leads her to the car.

 

“Jesus, Alex, it’s freezing out here - you didn’t think to bring a coat?” He asks, as he opens the door to the passenger seat for her. 

 

“I didn’t plan on my car breaking down in the middle of nowhere, darling,” she points out, teeth chattering a little and he looks over her, worried. 

 

“I’ll turn the heat up,” he says to her, as he settles down in the driver’s seat. Then he looks over at her with a bright grin on his face, reaching for both her hands and warming them up. “We haven’t said hello yet.”

 

She smiles at him, despite still feeling cold. “Hello, darling.” 

 

She leans in closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. He presses his nose into her hair and breathes in deeply, welcoming the smell of her shampoo and perfume into his senses. He hasn’t seen her in a month, and before that one brief night he hadn’t seen her in seven weeks. He’s missed her so much, and now they’re finally in the same country for at least two months. He’s so relieved to have her back by her side and in his bed.

 

His hands let go of hers and travel up her body, touching her thin satin dress sensually before cupping her face with both hands and turning her head to face him. He bends down to kiss her - gently at first, before he becomes more demanding, swiping his tongue across her lips feverishly as their mouths move against each other faster. 

 

They break apart, breathless. He leans his forehead against hers and smiles at her, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. 

 

“Hello, sweetheart.”

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s it? It’s over?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm,,,, sorry? pls prepare the tissues

“That’s it?” Matt asks, eyes watery as he looks at her. She looks away, wrapping her arms around herself and sniffing softly. “It’s over?”

 

She swallows, shutting her eyes tight and trying to keep the tears at bay. It wasn’t supposed to end like this - this one was supposed to be forever, Matt and her, madly in love. She looks down at the ring on her finger and fights a sob rising in her throat.

 

“What is there left to do?” she asks, and she hates how broken she sounds, but that’s what she is now. Broken. Broken by the one man she’d never thought would break her. “Sometimes… things just don’t work out. Whether it’s fate, or destiny, or whatever… it doesn’t work because it was never meant to. And that’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s not.” he says, and she shuts her eyes again at the tremble in his voice. “It’s not okay, Alex. How could you say that?”

 

“Please, Matt,” she whispers, a tear finally falling. She wipes it away hastily, looking back at him and finally noticing that his tears have long escaped his eyes, leaving watery streaks down his pale cheeks. “If - if counseling couldn’t save us, then - ”

 

“We went for  _ two _ sessions, Alex. Just two.” he holds up two fingers at her, and she sighs again, looking down. “Why are you giving up on us so easily?”

 

“Because!” she bursts, leaving a shocked Matt staring at her intently. “Because I’m not  _ happy _ , Matt.”

 

He looks like his heart has quite literally broken in two, more tears pouring out of his eyes and Alex winces.

 

“No, no, I mean -  _ no _ .” she says quickly, her voice soothing as she approaches him. She touches his shoulder gently, but he flinches away.

 

“What do you mean?” he asks quietly, and the way he struggles to keep his voice steady makes Alex even guiltier.

 

“I never see you anymore,” she whispers. “You work and you go out and you come back late and even when we decided to go for counseling - you made an effort, but it’s not enough.”

 

“So you’re just leaving?” he asks.

 

She looks down. “Isn’t it easier this way?”

 

“No, it isn’t.” he shakes his head. “No universe where I lose you could be easier.”

 

She shuts her eyes and wipes more tears away, stepping away from him.

 

“I can work harder. For you.” he says quietly, and when she looks up she sees him, a look of desperation she’s never seen before on his face. “I can be enough, if you just - just give me the chance. Please.”

 

“Matt, I - I don’t want you to give up what you want because of this,” she shakes her head. “It isn’t - ”

 

“Isn’t what? Worth it?” he asks her, eyes staring deeply into hers.

 

She doesn’t answer.

 

“Do I make you happy?” he asks, his shoulders slumping slightly in defeat.

 

“Matt, of course -”

 

“Then why?” he asks, shaking his head. “Why would you leave?”

 

“Because I’m selfish,” she whispers finally. “Because I want you to be successful but I want you to be with me. And it’s not fair on you, because I know it’s hard balancing work and me and everything else. But there are times where I just want to keep you with me and shut off the world because you’re supposed to be mine.”

 

“I am yours.” he says quietly. “Just yours.”

 

“We’re actors. We’ll never be just each other’s,” she whispers. “It’s easier for me because - well, I’m older, I’m not in the limelight, but you - you’re being looked at for amazing roles and opportunities and I love that about you. But I don’t love sharing you with the world.” she looks down at her feet. “This way, I won’t have you to share.”

 

“Alex,” he whispers. “Nothing matters more to me than you do.”

 

She wipes more tears away. “I know that.”

 

“If you asked me to stick to indie movies for the rest of my life I’d do it in a heartbeat, love.”

 

She nods. “I know that too. But I don’t want you to. You deserve more than that, Matt.”

 

“Alex, love,” he whispers, his voice shaking a little. He reaches out and takes her hand, pulling her close and pressing his trembling lips to the back of her palm. “Don’t leave. We’ll work it out, I know we can. Just - don’t give up on us, okay? Please.”

 

“I - ” she hesitates.

 

“Please,” he begs, pressing his mouth harder onto her skin. “I love you. So, so much. We’ll work everything out, and it’ll be okay again, soon. I know it. Let’s just - take it one day at a time.”

 

She looks up at him, and knows that if she leaves, she’ll be breaking his heart. And her own, for the third time. She also knows that if she stays, she’ll want so much more than he’s able to give - it wouldn’t be fair to him. Either way, both of them will hurt - but is it better to hurt together?

 

“It won’t be easy,” she warns softly, taking one step towards him. His eyes light up with hope.

 

“The best things never are,” he whispers back, taking her other hand in his too.

 

“One day at a time,” she whispers, grasping his hand tightly and feeling a wave of relief washing over her - she wasn’t leaving. Not today, at least.

 

He nods. “Slowly.”

 

She rests her head against his chest and she feels his arms sliding around her, holding her tightly against him.

 

“I love you so much. Thank you,” she whispers against his shirt.

 

“For what?” he asks, nose buried in her hair.

 

“For fighting for us.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Teachers AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> of course i made it smutty lmaoo

Alex looks around at the gallery she’s assembled to showcase the student’s artwork. She’s pleased with everyone - they’ve all worked very hard on their year-end project, and she knows that they’ve done their best. She couldn’t be prouder.

 

A throat clears behind her. She whirls around and sees Mr Smith, the PE teacher and soccer coach, leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face.

 

“Working late, beautiful?” He asks, dark hazel eyes looking her up and down. 

 

She raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Would you like to join me?”

 

He pushes himself off the doorway and walks towards her with a cocky grin on his face. She doesn’t move, watching him stalk towards her, her lips curling around the corners.

 

He comes close to her, invading her space. They’re merely a breath apart when he stops, and she can feel him, feel his body inviting her closer. His hands run up and down her arms and she tilts her head a little towards his left hand, seeing the diamond ring glitter in the dim light and feeling her heart fill with warmth. 

 

“As long as I get to spend time with my beautiful wife, I’m completely happy,” he tells her softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

 

It’s been almost three months, but it feels like it was merely a day ago that they exchanged their vows. They’re happier than anyone else could’ve ever predicted, only looking sullen and sad when they were apart. It feels like they’re still in their honeymoon phase.

 

“Sap,” she teases him lovingly.

 

He gives her a lopsided grin before their lips meet in a passionate kiss, starved for each other. They haven’t seen each other all day, and their bones ache for each other. He pushes her against the nearest wall, pressing her up against it roughly as his lips travel down to her neck.

 

“Matt… not here - ” she gasps, but he bites down on her sensitive spot and she moans out loudly, interrupting herself.

 

“Want you,” he whispers, his hands roaming her body frantically, a note of desperation in his voice. “Need you, sweetheart.”

 

“Someone- someone could see us,” she manages, as he licks her collarbone thoroughly. “We could get fired - ”

 

“You’ll just have to be quiet then,” he whispers against her skin. “Can you do that for me? Can you be quiet for me, Alex?”

 

Her eyes have darkened impossibly by now, and as he lifts his head to meet her eyes, his hand sneaking between her legs to skate across her centre. She lets out a quivering breath at the feather-light touch.

 

“Yes, Mr Smith.” She says quietly, watching as his eyes darken even further at the use of his title. It’s always been a kink of theirs - to fuck each other while calling out their professional title. And the fact that they’re doing this in the school - God, it’s beyond sexy. 

 

“Fuck, I love it when you call me that, sweetheart.” He whispers, tugging the skirt of her sundress up past her hips and pulling her legs roughly around his waist. 

 

There’s nothing but the sound of rustling fabric as he unbuttons his jeans and pulls it down along with his boxers, just enough for his erection to spring free. She leans her her head against the wall, watching his face as he pushes her knickers to the side and lines himself up with her entrance. He pushes inside and both of them groan, unable to contain the noise. 

 

“You like this, don’t you, my dirty girl?” He whispers against her ear, thrusting hard. Their hips collide against the wall slowly, in time with his thrusts, as he pushes into her balls deep. “You love fucking me where your students paint, work and study. You love defiling this innocent place, don’t you? My special, dirty girl.”

 

“Oh, God, feels so good, Mr Smith,” she whines, gripping his shoulder hard as he thrusts into her with abandon, fucking her hard. “Your cock feels so good.”

 

“Such a filthy mouth,” he says, grunting a little as his hips jerk faster and faster against her, pushing her up against the wall. “Your cunt feels so tight around my cock.”

 

She bites her lip to keep herself from moaning even though all she wants to do is cry out each time he thrusts deep into her. She lets out little whimpers, shutting her eyes tight and letting her head fall back, her breath growing shallower and shallower as her heart pumps double time in her chest.

 

“So beautiful when you need to cum,” he whispers, and it registers that he’s been talking to her, but she’s too caught up in the sensation of his cock thrusting balls deep inside her to notice until now. “Cum for me now, my dirty little girl.”

 

“Mr Smith,” she whinges breathlessly, her hips rutting impatiently against his. She lets out a high-pitched mewl as he hits that spot inside her that makes her see stars. “Mr Smith, please, that’s so fucking good - please make me cum - ”

 

He continues talking to her, dirty litanies and erotic poetry spilling from his lips as his hips fuck her into an orgasm. He feels her clenching around his cock, gripping tightly, and he quickens his pace, the thumping of their hips echoing around the empty room.

 

Her release is approaching quickly, and she bites down on her lip even harder to prevent from making any noise, her face growing red from the effort. She feels her orgasm wash over her in waves and can’t stop herself from letting out a high whimper, panting breathlessly as he cums inside her, feeling his load shoot deep inside her.

 

“Perfect,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her hair. “So fucking perfect, my dirty little girl.”

 

He presses his forehead against hers, still gripping her tightly to him, unwilling to let her go. She doesn’t mind, crossing her ankles together behind his back, leaning in to lick away a drop of sweat lingering above his ear.

 

“I loved your lesson, Mr Smith.” She whispers in his ear, and though he’s growing limp inside her she can tell that she’s got his attention once again. “But I’m afraid I need some pointers. Is there any way I can take extra classes from you?”

 

He shuts his eyes as though it’s too much to take. “Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so fucking sexy, I - fuck - ” he cuts himself off, pressing his lips to her desperately. He slips out of her carefully and untangles her legs from his waist, setting her down gently. “Let’s get out of here before I fuck you all over this school.”


End file.
